


Dark Matter

by assassinslover



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-02 15:15:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assassinslover/pseuds/assassinslover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Slowly but surely, she’s corrupted — maybe by convincing scientists, maybe by Delphine, maybe by her own obsession with 'the science.'" -- Cosima volunteers to infiltrate DYAD with Delphine to discover the whereabouts of Sarah's daughter, and find a cure for her illness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a theory on Tumblr, in which Cosima is corrupted by DYAD. Insert warning here for slight non-con in a couple places. Please direct half of your anger and pitchforks to the Australian. She's just as responsible for this as I am. There's probably mistakes I didn't catch, apologies. (Here's the post, I can't be fucked with HTML codes: http://sharkodactyl.tumblr.com/post/66847919297)

“I'll do it. I'll go.” Delphine stared at her, eyes wide in shock, her jaw tight.

“Pardon?” she asked. Cosima watched her fingers dig into the arm of the sofa.

“They don't know that I know,” Cosima said. “Just like how you didn't know that I knew you were monitoring me.” Delphine let the air in her lungs out in a long, harsh huff, her body slouching back into the cushions with it. Her free hand rose and dug into her hair, wild and tangled from a night of working.

“You can't,” the blonde said, shaking her head. Her fingers remained tangled, knuckles flexing and rolling as her frustration channelled itself into them. “It's too dangerous.” Cosima shrugged, and turned away to face her computer again.

“Leekie made me an offer. I might as well use it to my advantage.” She pushed her glasses up to rub at her eyes, burning with exhaustion, then bumped them gently back into place. “I can't just sit around here not doing anything and feeling useless. Besides,” she turned her head, brown eyes finding Delphine's and staring, a light line between her brows, “I don't think you're in a position to tell me what I can and can't do.”

“Why can't-”

“No one else can do it, Delphine,” Cosima sighed. She pushed her fingers into her temples, and squeezed her eyes shut. “The offer was for me. I can do more from the inside than I can sitting here. Tell him.” Delphine paled.

“What?” Cosima gestured at the phone sitting on the table, untouched save for when Delphine had tossed it there rummaging in her bag for a tissue to clean blood from Cosima's lips.

“Tell him you've gotten me to accept his proposal.” Delphine's hand shook as she reached for the phone, the soft clicking of the keys the only sound to fill the silence between them.

“It's done,” Delphine said, and dropped the phone as if touching it seared her flesh. “I don't like this.” Cosima shrugged again, but snaked her hand across the space separating their bodies, and touched the side of Delphine's knee.

“You don't have to like it,” she said without looking up. “You just have to go along with it. I'll need you to be my cover.” Delphine sighed, and shifted her leg away.

“There must be a way you can help other than walking into the lion's den,” she said. Cosima looked at her, long and hard, and shook her head.

“You want me to trust you,” she said. “This is what you need to do. Help me, and I promise you'll earn it back.” The words hit home, she could tell by the way Delphine squeezed her eyes shut and the lines that formed on her brow. The blonde bit her lip, holding her breath. Cosima waited, watching her. Eventually, just as her face was starting to tinge red, Delphine exhaled and opened her eyes.

“I will help you,” she said, “but you must tell Sarah, and Alison.” Cosima nodded.

“Deal,” she replied.

“I do not know how you want me to be your cover,” Delphine continued. She stood, pacing away towards the kitchen. Cosima tracked her movements. The answer weighed heavily on her chest.

“By being my girlfriend,” she said. Delphine leaned bodily against the sink, her head bowed. Cosima flexed her fingers. “It'll be normal for us to spend a lot of time together. Besides, you did it before. It shouldn't be too hard.”

“Je faisais pas semblant,” Delphine whispered. Cosima almost didn't catch it, but wouldn't have understood if Delphine had shouted it from the roof.

“What?” she asked. Delphine shook her head. Her hand found her hair again, squeezing and bunching her curls before dropping to the handle of a cabinet. She opened them methodically, searching for mugs and finding only cracked cups and wine glasses. Her hands dropped to the sink, washing the mugs that had been laid there; one for herself, and one for Cosima.

“Nothing,” she finally said. “How do you take your tea?” Cosima slung an arm over the back of the sofa, turning to face Delphine fully, and cocked her head to the side.

“Black,” she replied, and slowly turned back around. The kettle bubbled loudly a few minutes later. Cosima tapped absently at her keyboard, and listened to water splashing against itself and along the ceramic it was being poured into. Delphine joined her again, sitting at the edge of the sofa. “Thanks,” Cosima replied. She warmed her hands against the mug given to her. Her Californian blood wasn't made for Canadian winters.

“You're welcome,” Delphine said quietly. Cosima rubbed at her temple again, and looked over. Delphine, sensing her gaze, raised her head to meet it, eyes questioning.

“Well?” she asked. Delphine's eyes darted to her lips, then back up. Cosima swallowed, her throat and mouth dry.

“Is this your way of asking me out?” Delphine replied. She tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Cosima's twitched in return.

“Sort of.” Yes, her heart screamed. Yes, yes, yes. She cleared her throat, and raised her mug to her lips to buy herself time. “It'll keep me safe.” That was all that was needed. Cosima watched whatever resolve Delphine may have had crumble behind the hazel of her eyes.

“Then yes, Cosima Niehaus,” she said, but she wasn't looking at her any more. “I will be your girlfriend.”

Sarah wasn't very keen on the idea. She pulled Cosima aside, out of Delphine's earshot, and with a firm grip on her elbow, scowled wordlessly at her until Cosima rolled her eyes, sighed, and twisted her arm away. Paul, only just trailing inside, glanced at them, then caught sight of Delphine, and went to join her, hand outstretched. She looked like shit.

“I don't trust her, Cosima,” she said softly, her voice a low growl. “She sold us out to Leekie, remember?”

“Yeah, well, she was doing it to keep me safe. She didn't know about the patent.” Sarah's frown deepened. “You didn't see her face, Sarah. Trust me, she didn't know.” Sarah glanced to where Delphine and Paul were quietly talking, then back at her.

“And this wasn't her idea?” she asked. Cosima shook her head.

“No. No. She didn't want me to go.”

“How did you get her to agree to it, then?” She pushed air out through her nose, and pinched the bridge.

“I'm doing this for all of us, okay? I can work better from the inside. I can use their resources against them.” Sarah shoved a hand through her hair. Her eyes found Delphine again, wary.

“If you think it'll help,” she finally sighed, “if you can get Kira back, then all right.”

“Thank you, Sarah,” Cosima said, and touched her sister's arm. Sarah pulled her into a hug, tight and abrupt, and held her for a moment before letting go with a squeeze. They both cleared their throats, glancing away.

“Just be careful, okay?” Sarah said. “And keep an eye on her. I still don't trust her as far as I can throw her.”

Delphine spent a fortune on flights for the both of them. They had each packed lightly; Cosima the essentials to last her through until school started up again in January, and Delphine in a rush to follow before she completely lost track of Cosima's whereabouts. Cosima said nothing on the flight. She kept her hands in her lap, and let her head rest against the wall of the airplane, looking out at the clouds that floated carelessly around them. They parted at the airport, sharing a cab inconvenient when they lived in opposite directions. Cosima felt Delphine's gaze linger as she walked away, but didn't look back, no matter how hard her heart cried.

The stillness of her apartment was welcome. Cosima sighed when she stepped over the threshold, letting her bag fall to the floor. She had time, though not much, their return flight to Toronto scheduled to leave later that night. Cosima glanced around, and lightly pushed the door shut. She'd made a home there, and the chance of her never seeing it again were high. Very high. It was a risk she had to take. She lugged her suitcase through to the bedroom, hauling it up, and paused with her hands resting on the edges when her breath came in a tight wheeze.

She hadn't coughed since the early morning, but she could feel it squeezing at her lungs, and fizzling in her chest. If one good thing was going to come out of going to DYAD, it would be having the resources necessary for her and Delphine to locate some kind of cure. Cosima pushed a hand against her sternum and carefully cleared her throat. Nothing. She might as well have had a chest cold. The threat passed, for the moment, Cosima flipped open her suitcase and bustled about her apartment, stocking up on clothes, medicine, books, everything that she suspected she might need. She imagined Delphine was doing the same. Not more than an hour passed before she was ready, sitting at her desk and waiting for the text from Delphine with the cab to take them back to the airport.

The blonde bought them dinner, and denied all of Cosima's attempts to pay for herself.

“I make more than enough to treat you to dinner,” she argued. “If there is one thing DYAD has done for me, it has given me the ability to indulge while still living comfortably.” Cosima didn't press the matter. Of course they paid her generously. She had never suspected any differently. She supposed she'd be privy to the same luxuries, now. Delphine's phone pinged. She paused with her fork halfway to her mouth, then very slowly lowered it back to the table and dug into her bag. Her face paled. Cosima frowned at her.

“What?” she asked. Delphine shook her head, glanced at the message on the screen, then tossed her phone away again.

“Nothing. Aldo-Leekie is very happy that you have reconsidered his offer.”

“Do you always look like you've seen a ghost when he contacts you?” Cosima asked blandly.

“His advances are not as welcome as you seem to think they are,” Delphine replied, her eyes on her plate. Cosima hummed. Delphine checked her watch. “We should go. Are you finished?” She hadn't had much of an appetite to begin with. Silently, she nodded, and with her carry on in her hand, followed in Delphine's wake. They didn't speak again on the flight, but with Delphine wearing headphones and doing her best to at least appear to be sleeping, any attempts Cosima could have made at conversation would have been useless.

 

“Miss Niehaus, Dr. Cormier, my name is Daniel. Miss Duncan sent me to see you to your new apartment.” He looked like the kind of lackey Rachel would have. Cosima tried not to eye him too warily, and shook his hand despite not wanting to touch him at all. It was brief, at least, and all he did was nod at Delphine before turning on his heel and leaving them to follow after him. There was a car waiting; a black stretch with tinted windows. The back proved spacious when Daniel opened the door for them. They let the driver load their luggage, and Cosima waited for Delphine to slip inside before sliding in next to her. She kept the space on the seat between them, and with the closing of the door, the thick silence settled over them again.

Much to Cosima's relief, the ride was short, and Daniel was nothing more than a silent guide. She fidgeted in the elevator that took them up, and up, and up, until Cosima was sure they wouldn't stop until they were at the very top of the building, but stop they did, and Daniel gestured for them to step out of the lift before following. DYAD certainly treated their employees well, Cosima thought, hesitating at the threshold. Delphine strode in like it was nothing new to her, but everything from the furniture to the rugs, and the expensive entertainment system, and shiny, chrome filled kitchen almost managed to deprive Cosima of oxygen.

“You'll find the pantry fully stocked,” Daniel said. “I'll be here at seven tomorrow to collect you and take you to the office.” He left. Cosima shut the door on him, and leaned against it. Delphine looked around once, then made a beeline for what Cosima assumed was one of the bedrooms. She followed, curious. From what she could tell, there weren't any other doors leading away from the main room, just one.

“Cosima,” Delphine called, her voice tight. Cosima peered over her shoulder.

“Oh,” she breathed, her chest clenching. One bed. More than large enough for the both of them to be sure, but only one bed. “Shit.”

“Yes,” Delphine replied. Cosima sighed. She wondered, briefly, if they had done it on purpose. If it had all be some sort of plot to test the two of them. If it was, she wasn't a test she was going to fail. Delphine seemed to have come to the same conclusion.

“I'll sleep on the right,” Cosima said, just as Delphine echoed her words. The blonde flushed, looking at the floor. “Do you want the-I don't care what side I sleep on, really.”

“No,” Delphine said with a shake of her head. “No, no, it's fine. You pick what side you like. I will take the other.” Cosima cleared her throat.

“I'll sleep on the right, then,” she said. “I like being close to the windows.” Delphine sighed, so softly that Cosima's ears strained to hear it.

“I'll start to unpack. Would you like something to eat?”

“No,” Cosima replied. “I'm not very hungry.” Delphine's gaze met her own, and softened.

“You should eat something, chérie.” Cosima sighed. She was right of course, and if they were going to pretend to be girlfriends, she might as well start to act like they were. The place was probably bugged. She reached out, and slowly squeezed Delphine's hand.

 

Cosima had a surprisingly easy time falling asleep considering that she was sharing her bed with the woman she wasn't sure if she loved or hated, and certainly didn't trust. At least she didn't think so. Maybe she did. She had to, at least some, to tell her that she was sick, when she still hadn't said a word to Sarah about it. They both stayed well on their own sides, at least, the space between them feeling more like a chasm than a couple feet. In her dreams, they were happy, and laughing, and no one was sick and Kira was safe and sound.

She woke with warmth pressed against her, and the familiar scent of soap and traces of perfume and shampoo tickling her nose. Cosima inhaled reflexively. Maybe she was still dreaming. She had to be. She opened her eyes. It was still dark in the room. Slowly her vision adjusted, and she realized that she definitely wasn't dreaming. Delphine's breath was warm against her collarbone, brushing against it in deep, soft, even blows. Oh, Cosima thought, but her body wouldn't let her pull away. It was too enamoured by the familiar shape of Delphine's body. What did it matter? She could allow herself this, even if it was only for a little while. Cosima tightened the grip she had on Delphine's waist, and closed her eyes again.

The alarm clock on the night stand blared, and with it the peace was shattered. Delphine jolted against her, startled by the sudden noise, and inhaled sharply. Cosima rolled over and smacked her hand against the clock until the noise stopped, and sighed into the quiet that followed. All of the tension from the night before returned, and doubled. She listened the sheets shift as Delphine moved away from her.

“I'm sorry,” the blonde said, her voice rough and low from sleep. “I didn't- I'm sorry.”

“It's okay,” Cosima said, startled by how husky her own voice was. “I guess that's our sign to get up.”

“I am going to have a shower,” Delphine mumbled, and rolled over and out of bed.

“I'll make coffee,” Cosima replied, too late for Delphine to hear. She laid in bed until she heard the muffled rush of the shower, then spurred herself into action. The cabinets were as full as Daniel had promised. Cosima rifled through the contents until she found the coffee, and read the blurbs on the back and sides absently while she fiddled with the maker, and waited for it to brew. Delphine was finished by the time it was done, dressed and ready.

“The shower is lovely,” she commented. “I could stay in there all morning.” She offered Cosima a smile, but it didn't do much to diffuse the tight air surrounding them.

“Coffee's good, too,” she offered, uselessly. “Guess it's my turn.” It was as nice as Delphine had said. Cosima would have spent the entire morning in it, and happily so. She spent a good five minutes trying to figure out how to switch cycles, but it was worth it for the pounding of hot water against her muscles, relaxing them bit by bit until a knock on the door brought all of it back.

“Cosima, we'll be leaving soon,” Delphine said, her voice muffled by the door and the roar of the water in Cosima's ears. Cosima sighed, and called out her assent. She withdrew from the shower with reluctance, and with a practised ease, was ready five minutes before Daniel came knocking at their front door.

He was waiting with a limo again. Silent as always, he led them downstairs, opened the door for them, and left them alone in the back. Delphine turned her head away and stared out the window, her hand lingering by her chin. Her fingers twitched, as if she wanted to bite her nails and was trying very hard to keep herself from doing so. Cosima watched her a while, frowning lightly. She glanced through the open divider to the driver.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly. Delphine turned her head to look at her.

“Yes,” she said. “I'm fine.” Her head rotated again, but her eyes remained. “Are you?” Cosima's eyes flicked to the front of the car again. Wordlessly, she reached across the space between them for Delphine's hand, and easily slipped her fingers into the spaces between the blonde's own. She was terrified. She was the one walking into the jaws of the wolf, not Delphine. Her very existence was on the line. At least Delphine's body was her own to do with what she wanted. Even Cosima's atoms technically belonged to DYAD. She squeezed the warm fingers twined with her own for comfort.

From the outside, DYAD looked like any other building in the city. There were no markings to differentiate it, just a stream of men and women in suits blending in with dozens of others who looked the same, walking in and out of rotating doors, checking watches, talking on cell phones. Daniel opened the door for them, but didn't follow them. Cosima hovered at Delphine's side, envying the ease with which the blonde passed inside. She had hoped Delphine would feel just as much as a stranger as she did, but it was foolish.

“Where should we go?” she asked. Delphine glanced around and shrugged.

“I don't know,” she replied. “There are many labs. My office, maybe. I expected someone to be here to meet us-oh.”

“What?” Cosima asked, following Delphine's gaze until they landed on the last man she wanted to see. Aldous spotted them from across the foyer, and with a smile that made Cosima's skin crawl, crossed the distance in a few easy strides and pulled Delphine from Cosima's side and into a hug. The blonde stiffened for the few seconds that it lasted. Cosima frowned lightly.

“Cosima,” he said, one hand on her shoulder and the other reaching for hers to shake it. She fought to not recoil at the touch. “May I say personally how delighted I am that you decided to accept my offer. You'll find that conducting your research here at the institute will open your eyes to hundreds of possibilities, and of course, provide you access to the records you need to examine the biology of yourself and of your sisters.” Cosima forced a smile, dropping her hand away and lightly shrugging off his grip. He drew passes from his shirt pocket, and held them out. “Delphine, you'll find your security clearance has been upgraded. Cosima, yours is the same.” He swept his arm towards the line of elevators. “Shall we?” Cosima's fingers itched to reach out for Delphine's. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat instead.

“It's okay,” Delphine said under her breath with a quick glance. Leekie thumbed the button for their floor, and stepped back with his hands clasped behind his back.

“I trust you two are settling in okay?” he asked. “I'm sorry there's only one bed. I tried to negotiate for another flat, but this was the only one available that suited our needs. I hope it isn't a problem?” Cosima scowled, her jaw tight.

“It isn't,” she said firmly. Delphine glanced at her again, teeth digging into her lip. Cosima reached for her hand, and held it tightly. She didn't care who saw. It was all part of the plan, and it wasn't exactly hard for her to pretend, as much as she wanted it to be.

“Good,” Leekie replied, entirely too cheerfully for Cosima's liking. She squeezed Delphine's fingers. The blonde returned it weakly. The elevator dinged, and the doors smoothly slid open. Cosima found herself staring at her own face. “Rachel?” Leekie asked. “What are you doing here?”

“A word, Aldous,” Rachel replied. Her voice and accent was smooth and firm, so unlike Sarah's brusque, rough dialect. Leekie's frown of displeasure made Cosima's jaw set, but Delphine's hand in hers was a warm reassurance. She glanced at the blonde's face as Rachel and Leekie stepped to the side, leading them into the hall before the doors on the lift could shut them in. She looked shocked; almost alarmed.

“You didn't know?” Cosima asked. Delphine slowly shook her head.

“I knew of her,” she replied. “Aldous spoke of her, but I did not know she is...”

“A clone,” Cosima finished. “Yeah.”

“Did you?” Delphine asked, looking at her now instead of the two standing out of earshot.

“Yeah,” Cosima repeated, “but that doesn't make it any less weird.”

 

Aldous was less than pleased. Truthfully, Rachel didn't care if he was happy or not; it was her “sister,” and her lovely blonde companion that was Rachel's primary concern. Aldous asked her again what she was doing. She supposed she should have mentioned something to him, but it had seemed better to go about it in a way that would prove that she was unexpected; someone to be respected, and feared.

“I've been watching, Aldous,” Rachel said, breaking him off mid-sentence. “Your presence consistently makes these women uncomfortable, and I'm afraid I cannot allow that to continue.”

“What?” Aldous asked.

“You'll be assigned to a different project; there will be an email with details awaiting you shortly.” Rachel glanced away, watching the two women down the hall. Cosima was gesturing wildly with her arms, mouth a blur of movement as she spoke to a startled Delphine. The blonde eventually reached up and grabbed Cosima's arms, then her hands, said something Rachel couldn't read to her, and Cosima calmed, although only marginally.

“You can't do that,” she heard Aldous say, his voice and presence no more than an annoyance to her.

“I believe you'll find I just did,” she replied without looking at him. “You are to leave these women alone, and forget any conceptions you may still keep about your relationship with our good doctor.” She did look at him then, a carefully practised, barely there smile on her face. “She is obviously not your toy any more.” Aldous opened his mouth to retort, but a sharp look from Rachel silenced him. “If you'll excuse us,” she continued, and motioned towards the lifts. Aldous' jaw twitched in annoyance, but he had no choice other than to obey. When the doors slid shut on him, Rachel smoothed her skirt, and gathered herself with a breath, then strode down the hall. “Follow me, if you would.” Rachel strode past the confused women without a passing glance, the click of their shoes against the white tiles the only sign that they had complied with her order. She stopped at the last door on the left, casually twisting the handle and letting it swing open.

“Woah,” Cosima whispered. A glance over her shoulder revealed a look of wonder lighted on her clone's face. The doctor looked less than impressed. Unperturbed, Cosima stepped past them both and made a beeline for the aquarium that took up the entirety of the right hand wall, dividing the office they were stood in from the lab on the other side, only broken by a door in the centre.

“Yes, I thought you would like that,” Rachel said, watching as Cosima all but pressed her face against the glass. “We find it brings relaxation to what can be a very stressful workplace, and relaxed employees are happy employees, and therefore more productive, and greater productivity helps all, does it not, Dr. Cormier?” Delphine stared at her, her eyes searching, and hummed softly.

“Yes,” she said.

“You'll find the lab beyond that stocked with the finest equipment available,” Rachel continued, crossing to the small bar in the far corner. “Drinks?” She didn't wait for a reply, pouring champagne for the three of them and all but forcing one of the glasses into Delphine's hands with a smile that tinged on cold. Cosima accepted it without a fuss, her eyes darting this way and that as she took in their surroundings. Her amazed expression was perfect. Rachel contained a smirk. “A toast,” she announced, holding up her glass, “to welcoming two of the brightest scientists this company has ever seen. Cheers.”

“Cheers!” Cosima announced happily. Delphine paused, watching Rachel carefully, before muttering a “cheers” under her breath, and sipping at her drink like it was liquid poison. Over the rim of her glass, Rachel observed them; the way Delphine's gaze, laced with concern, flicked between Cosima and herself, the way Cosima's eyes still travelled around the room, how her wandering took her closer and closer to the door to the lab.

“If you're curious,” Rachel said, setting her glass down on the desk, “then by all means, have a look.” She headed for the door, lightly brushing past Delphine. “Oh, and if either of you need anything,” she said, with her hand against the latch, “don't hesitate to come to me directly. If it's within my power to grant, you shall have it.” And with that she left, a satisfied smirk curling on her face as she strode confidently down the hall, the click of her heels echoing off the stark walls.

 

Cosima and her drink disappeared into the adjoining room. Delphine was unimpressed by all the flair. She had behaved much like Cosima had on her initial arrival, but months of working and the past few weeks especially had eroded her excitement. The charm would wear off, she thought, discarding her champagne. She hardly had any taste for it, as expensive as it was. Not when it was provided by DYAD. She glanced around. The office was posh indeed; certainly nicer than her old one had been.

“Delphine, this place is amazing,” Cosima called, her voice drifting through the open door from the lab. “This equipment, a lot of this hasn't even hit the market yet.”

“Yes,” Delphine replied. “You'll find that true of many things here.”

“Could you sound any less impressed?” Cosima asked, joining her again. “I know they're the bad guys and all, but you can't deny that they treat their people well.” Too well, Delphine thought with a scowl.

“We have a lot of work to do, Cosima,” she said, shrugging off her coat and draping it over the back of one of the chairs in the middle of the room. “We should get started.”

“Yeah,” Cosima replied, dreamily, then shook her head, as if to gather her thoughts, and suddenly the Cosima Delphine recognized was back, determination etched into her face. “Yeah, right. Let's see what exactly they're allowing us to access.”

“Be careful,” Delphine said softly, bending close to Cosima's ear. “They are watching, they must be.” Cosima rolled her eyes, and seated herself behind the desk.

“Yeah, no shit,” she said with a quick glance up. “Don't worry, I'm a lot better at covering my tracks than you are.” The words, and the hidden accusation that they brought, stung, but Delphine brushed it away.

“I suppose I had better get to work, then,” Delphine said, but Cosima appeared to have not heard, already frowning with concentration at the computer monitor.

In the lab, at least, she could pretend. It was nicer than the one at Minnesota had been, but a lab was a lab, and she felt at home within its white and silver confines. There were samples already waiting, ones from all the known subjects. Delphine stared at the neatly labelled tubes with disdain. It felt dirty to touch what had been forcibly taken from innocent women in their sleep, but she had no other choice, unless she wished to stride back into the office with a needle and demand Cosima fill another vial with her blood. She didn't, couldn't, not unless she needed to, and so with a heavy sigh and a trembling hand, Delphine picked up the vial marked 324B21, and began her work.

 

Cosima had access to more than she'd expected she would. Someone must have given her the benefit of the doubt. Probably Rachel, she mused, clicking through the documents, reports, charts, x-rays and more loaded onto the hard drive on the computer. But still, of course, nothing on Kira, and nothing that could help Delphine in her search for a cure. She took the laptop laying on the coffee table home with her, surprised when no one stopped them on their way out and demanded it back. She doubted there would be anything of any value on it, but it was worth a try.

Delphine cooked while she looked through, trying to find some way that she could remotely hack into DYAD's servers and obtain the more sensitive information that she knew Rachel was hiding. Delphine served her a plate at the desk, then left to sit on the sofa. Cosima looked at the plate, then over the top of the laptop at the blonde, then shut the lid and joined her. She settled, reached for the remote, and found something that they could both enjoy before placing a gentle kiss on Delphine's cheek. The blonde blushed.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“You're my girlfriend, remember?” Cosima replied, leaning back into the cushions. At the corner of her eye, she caught a smile twitching at the corner of Delphine's lips, and her heart flipped when it spread into a real one, even if it was all pretend. Mostly pretend.

She woke up with Delphine in her arms again, but despite the weekend meaning there would be no alarm to rudely split them apart, her body wasn't as kind. Everything built up over the night manifested itself in a tightness in her chest and a tickling in her lungs that pulled her from the comfort and warmth of the body against hers into the bathroom to clear her throat until her lungs seized and blood filled her mouth. She spat into the sink, and stared at the crimson stain stark against the white porcelain before turning on the tap and washing it away, bending her head to clean her mouth.

Thankfully, her short fit hadn't disturbed Delphine, the blonde now occupying the space that Cosima had vacated. Cosima lingered between the bedroom and the bathroom before fetching her robe from the back of the chair and leaving Delphine to sleep a while longer. She made coffee, shooting the laptop on the desk sidelong glances. Her shoulders prickled. Instinctively, Cosima looked behind her, but of course there was nothing. With a shudder, she rubbed her arms and fetched a mug.

Delphine woke soon after, shuffling out in her vest top and shorts and rubbing at her eyes. Cosima turned to meet her, leaning one arm along the back of the sofa. When Delphine spotted her she froze, glancing down at the amount of bare skin she'd left on display, and for a few seconds looking like a deer in headlights until Cosima smiled at her, and held up her mug.

“There's plenty left,” she said.

“Thank you,” Delphine replied quietly. Cosima turned back around and listened to the sounds drifting from the kitchen, hovering under the noise from the TV. “I was thinking of going in today, if that's all right.” Cosima tipped her head back.

“Really? You don't want to just... chill? A lot's happened in a really short amount of time. I don't know about you, but my head feels like it's going to explode.” She only just caught Delphine's shrug.

“I can't 'chill', Cosima. I have a lot of work ahead of me, and as much as I loathe having to use them to do it, I don't have any other choice.” The blonde sat close to her, slouching down and bending her knees to prop her feet against the edge of the table. She held her mug near her chin.

“I guess I'll try to get some work done, too.” Delphine didn't reply. She steadily drank her coffee, and when it was finished, stood with a stretch. Cosima turned her empty mug in her hands, watching her until she was out of sight.

“I'll see you tonight, Cosima,” Delphine said before she left. Cosima's reply was lost in the shutting of the door behind her. She sighed, rubbing her eyes beneath her glasses, then practically dropped her cup onto the table and rose to fetch her own laptop from the bedroom. When she settled again, with the drive containing the version of her genetic code that Leekie had gave her, she pulled up the un-tampered one, and the DNA results she'd managed to pull from Katja's blood, and began to study.

It was dark before Delphine returned, looking exhausted when she opened the door. Cosima only caught a glimpse of it before she composed herself, and offered her a smile.

“Hey,” she greeted, returning it. Delphine dropped her bag and shrugged off her coat, shoving a hand through her hair and inhaling deeply before she spoke.

“Hi.” She hovered by the door, hands on her hips, then shook her head lightly with a soft sigh. “I'm going to have a shower,” she announced.

“Yeah, okay,” Cosima replied. “I'll make dinner, then.”

She looked refreshed when she re-entered the living room, her hair damply curling against the tops of her shoulders. When she passed by Cosima on her way to the sofa, she paused to kiss her temple. Cosima knew she was trying to make it look casual, but her fingers trembled where they rested on Cosima's arm, and her posture was stiff and careful. It made Cosima blush, regardless. She blamed it on the heat from the stove.

She pulled Delphine to her that night as she was falling asleep. Her arms ached to hold the blonde, and she was too tired, too out of it, to deny them. Delphine rolled easily against her, already further into slumber than Cosima was, and pressed her face against Cosima's collarbone with a light sigh. She followed Delphine to sleep, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. Neither of them had moved when the sunlight filtering through the window stirred Cosima awake. If anything, they'd gotten closer. Delphine's leg definitely hadn't been there before.

Cosima tightened her grip, but her mind started to pull away. This was the opposite of what she was supposed to be doing. She'd fallen for Delphine once already and it had ended badly. Surely, surely, she wasn't so foolish as to make the same mistake twice. Or maybe she was. Rays of light from outside glowed on Delphine's skin and in her hair, softening the lines of stress that had been tightening her mouth and eyes. Cosima reached up, and let her fingers slip through Delphine's golden curls.

Delphine stirred, and still Cosima held on. The blonde's hand found her hip, then her side, then wrapped around her back, pulling their bodies more snugly together. Her breathing shifted as she woke, and Cosima felt her eyelashes flutter against her skin. She squeezed, the pulled back so she could meet Cosima's gaze, and smiled at her as she squinted into the morning light.

“Are you hungry?” Cosima asked. Delphine shook her head.

“No. Are you?”

“No.”

“I should have a shower,” Delphine said. Cosima hesitated, watching how the light made Delphine's eyes glow.

“Okay. There'll be coffee when you get out.” Delphine smiled, and slowly untangled her limbs. Cosima relaxed into the bed and watched the bathroom door shut behind her.

She had her laptop open when Delphine finished, emerging from the bedroom dressed for the day, leaving Cosima feeling lazy for having done nothing but put on pants to combat the slight chill in the apartment.

“Hey,” she called over her shoulder, “I'm about to call Sarah. Do you want to join?”

“No,” Delphine replied after a pause, with an apologetic smile. She wrapped her scarf around her neck. “I was going to go pick up a few things from the grocery store. Is there anything you need?”

“We don't need food?” Cosima said, frowning.

“No,” Delphine agreed, “but there are certain comforts that this kitchen is lacking. If we're going to live here, I would prefer if it felt at least a bit more like home.”

“No,” Cosima said. “I don't need anything.” Delphine hoisted her bag onto her shoulder.

“Well, if you think of something...”

“I'll text. Yeah.” Delphine's smile grew awkward, and she slipped out the door. It clicked softly behind her. Cosima popped her earbuds in. The dull Skype tone filled her hearing a few seconds later until Sarah picked up the other end. Cosima could see the bags under her eyes. As the audio kicked in, she caught Felix's voice just before the door to his loft slid shut. Sarah sighed and pushed her fingers into her temples.

“Please tell me you have some good news,” she said without looking up. Cosima grimaced.

“I wish I could,” she said softly. “Are you okay?” Sarah raised her head.

“Do I look okay to you?”

“Right, yeah, stupid question. Sorry.”

“How's Delphine then?” Sarah sighed, settling back in the chair.

“She's fine,” Cosima said. “We're fine.”

“That counts as good news.”

“What about on your end? Anything new?” Sarah shook her head. Her voice was tight when she replied.

“Paul and Art are looking into some leads, but nothing concrete. Not yet. I know she's alive, though, Cos. I can feel it.”

“Of course she is,” Cosima replied, as comfortingly as she could managed. “I'll let you know if there's any change, okay?” Sarah nodded.

“Going so soon?” she asked, with only a trace of sarcasm.

“Yeah. Have to be careful.”

“All right, well... try not to get yourself killed or anything.” Cosima laughed lightly.

“I'm fine. Bye then.” Sarah waved silently, and shut her computer lid, ending the call. Cosima tugged her earbuds out and shifted her laptop onto her legs, sinking back into the sofa and picking up where she'd left off the previous night, manually copying over any files she thought might be useful from DYAD's computer to her own. She was still working when Delphine returned, shouldering the door open.

“How is Sarah?” she asked, and kicked the door shut with her heel. Cosima rose to help with the bags.

“How you'd expect,” she replied. “Not much different.” Delphine hummed, then stopped with her hands against the counter, as if bracing herself for a blow.

“I didn't say anything,” she said. Cosima paused, her hand halfway to a cabinet door. She lowered it slowly, and put down the can of food she was holding. Delphine turned her head to look at her when she didn't reply, her eyes almost pleading. “I swear.”

“I know,” Cosima said weakly. “I know you didn't.”

“I don't know how they found out.”

“I know.” She reached out, taking Delphine's hand in her own. “Delphine, I know.” The blonde squeezed her eyes shut, then nodded quickly. She sniffed lightly, pulling her hand away. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine.”

“How about I find a movie or something for us to watch? We can both take a break for a couple hours. It won't hurt us.” Delphine nodded again.

“Yes,” she said. “Yes. That sounds lovely. Let me just... put these away, yes?”

“Do you want me to help?” Cosima asked.

“No,” Delphine said. The inhale that followed was shaky, but then she straightened up and her shoulders relaxed.

“Only a couple hours,” Cosima repeated. She let her fingers touch the small of Delphine's back as she stepped past. Delphine settled next to her a few minutes later, with her coat carelessly tossed on the armchair with her boots at its feet. She curled into herself, drawing her legs up to her chest. Cosima knew she wasn't okay, but she refused to press. If Delphine wanted to tell her, she would.

An hour into the movie, Delphine stood to use the bathroom. She didn't make it past the couch before she squealed and darted back onto it. Cosima jumped and swore loudly, watching as the blonde pointed at a spider scurrying on its merry way across the floor towards the bedroom.

“Cosima!” the blonde hissed.

“What?” Cosima replied, glancing at her. “What? When did I get put on spider duty?”

“Just get it out of our bedroom!” Cosima grinned before she could stop herself. Their bedroom. But then Delphine squeaked again.

“Okay, okay,” she said, clambering over the back of the couch towards the bedroom. “Delphine, where did it go?” The blonde pointed again. “What are you pointing at? Would you just come here, already!?” Delphine pouted, then slowly joined her, standing behind her with her hands on Cosima's shoulders as if she was a shield. “You know, this would work better if you weren't so much taller than me. I'm not sure what you expect me to be able to protect you from.”

“It will touch you first,” Delphine said into her ear. Cosima rolled her eyes, looking around the floor.

“You know it's more scared of you than you are of it, right,” she said. Delphine's fingers flexed against her shoulders. She kicked over one of her jumpers with her foot, and the spider scuttled across the floor. Cosima jumped back and swore. Delphine screeched in her ear, and in a matter of seconds went from behind Cosima to standing on the bed, pointing again.

“Please kill it, Cosima,” Delphine said.

“I can't just kill it, Delphine,” Cosima argued. “It's scared. We'll just put him back outside.”

“You mean you will put it back outside, I am not touching it!”

“Fine, fine,” Cosima grumbled, rolling her eyes. “Keep an eye on it.”

“Where are you going?” Delphine asked, panicked.

“Getting a container. I'm not just going to pick it up with my bare hands.” She returned a few seconds later, with the spider thankfully still in the same place at the seam between the wall and the floor. Cosima approached slowly, and smacked the container of it before it could move, carefully wiggling the top on. “There,” she said triumphantly. She smiled at Delphine, who was still staring in horror at the spider. “Are you going to get down?”

“Not until it's gone,” Delphine said. Cosima sighed.

“Okay, I'll be right back.” She left Delphine awkwardly shifting her weight on the mattress and stepped out of the apartment, shivering in the cold of the hallway. The spider hadn't moved, cowering in the corner of the container still as a statue. Cosima glanced at it and forced herself to not shudder. She didn't like spiders any more than Delphine did. Okay, maybe a bit more than she did, but she was hardly excited about them. “How did you even get up here?” she asked, shaking her head as she stepped out of the lift and ignored the strange look from the staff as she shuffled quickly out the door and deposited the spider on the sidewalk.

Delphine was still standing on the bed when she got back. Cosima smiled despite herself and laughed gently, tossing the container into the sink.

“Now will you get down?” she asked, stood in the doorway. Delphine bit her lip, her fingers flexing into fists at her sides, then relaxing.

“What if there are more?” she asked.

“Then I'll take them outside, too,” Cosima replied, and crossed to the bedside. She held out her hand. Delphine took it gently, allowing Cosima to help her down. “It's okay. It was just a bug, and it's gone now. I'm here, okay?” Delphine's hug caught her off guard, tight and warm. Cosima let her eyes drift shut and eagerly returned it, wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist and squeezing. The embrace lingered longer than it should have, and Delphine's hands ghosted on her neck and rested when she pulled back. Cosima met her gaze, paralysed like she had been before, unable to turn her head away when Delphine leaned in and kissed her gently. She didn't want to. Her grip tightened. Then, Delphine inhaled sharply, and tilted her head away.

“I'm sorry,” she said softly, but didn't step away. Cosima inhaled, keeping her eyes closed.

“Don't be,” she replied, and found the blonde's lips again. The movie was long over by the time they parted, lips swollen. Cosima's body ached for the one lined along hers, but Delphine pulled away with dark eyes, and bit her lip, before retreating to the bathroom and leaving Cosima standing alone in the middle of their room.

 

Cosima spun idly in her chair, watching the room swirl together in a blur of white and silver, punctuated occasionally by the gold of Delphine's hair from where she was sat a few feet away, peering into a microscope at a slide that held either Cosima's or one of the other's blood on it. There wasn't anything she could do to help. The one suggestion she had and been one of the first things Delphine had tried, with no success, and she'd been through all the files on the computers over the weekend. All she could do was sit and be bored and wait until Delphine asked for her help or for another sample of DNA. She used the desk to push her around again, her head starting to swim. The chair spun once, twice, and then suddenly there was a flash of blue in the doorway. Cosima reached out to grab the desk and stop her twirling, face red with embarrassment. Rachel smiled lightly at her. Delphine glanced over her shoulder.

“May I have you for a moment, Miss Niehaus?” she asked. Cosima cleared her throat softly, and put down the pen in her hand.

“Uh, yeah,” she replied. “Sure.” She glanced back at Delphine, offering the blonde a smile to try and ease the concern creasing her face, and followed Rachel into the office, shutting the door behind her. Rachel settled in one of the chairs and gestured for Cosima to do the same. She was smiling, but something about it made the hair on the back of Cosima's neck stand on end.

“Now, Miss Niehaus, I-”

“Cosima,” Cosima interrupted, smiling. “Just, Cosima.”

“Cosima,” Rachel repeated, tilting her head to the side. Cosima tried to not squirm under her gaze. “Well then, Cosima,” she continued, crossing one leg over the other. “I know it's only been a few days, but I wanted to have a little chat about how you're settling in. Aldous can be severely lacking in tact, I know, and I understand you not wanting to be honest with him about your new flat, but is everything acceptable?”

“Yeah,” Cosima said, nodding. “Totally. It's really lovely, really comfortable. I've never lived in such a nice place before.”

“I'm very glad to hear that,” Rachel said, and again she smiled in her odd way. “Expect more in the future. I can assure you that I will do anything I possibly can to make sure you and Dr. Cormier are kept in complete comfort. Trust me when I say that it's a remarkable place to be.” Cosima hummed. “And professionally? How are you finding it here?”

“The lab is... amazing, seriously. I couldn't have asked for more.” Rachel's eyes flicked casually over her.

“And you?”

“...what about me?”

“How is the progress towards a cure for your... condition coming. Dr. Cormier was here on Saturday; shall I take that as a sign of progress? Any strong leads?” Cosima shrugged, and frowned.

“We're trying,” she said.

“It isn't just you and I that are in danger, Cosima, all of us are. This disease could appear at any time, and we need to be ready for it.”

“I know,” Cosima sighed. “Delphine's been great, she is great, I mean, immunology is what she's good at, and she's really super patient with me, but she's the doctor here, not me, and I think I'm just annoying her more than offering any actual help.” What was she saying? Rachel was the enemy. But she's one of us, a voice in the back of her mind whispered. She has to care. She shut her mouth before she could say that she always felt two steps behind, with anything she could think of to try Delphine already having done. Rachel smoothed her skirt, echoing Cosima's earlier hum.

“I see,” she said. “A moment.” She stood, crossing to the desk, and picking up the phone. “Yes, this is Rachel Duncan. I need any and all of our projects concerning evolutionary development to be redirected to Miss Niehaus. She has the proper clearance, I fail to see the issue... Wonderful, please send all relevant samples and files to Lab 17. No, she will be leading the project now.” Cosima paled. “She will contact you if she requires aid.” She hung up, and turned back to Cosima, a half smile on her face. Her walk was more a saunter than a stride. “Sorted, then.”

“I-oh,” Cosima said. “Project lead?” Cosima got to her feet as Rachel passed. Rachel extended her hand. Her grip lingered, even after Cosima loosened her fingers. She felt like the other woman was sizing her up, like she was some sort of challenger come to try and take her place. Finally, her hand dropped.

“I have every faith in you, Mis-Cosima,” she said, and turned for the door.

“Rachel,” she said, before the other woman's hand hit the door. “Thanks.” Rachel's answer smile was almost genuine.

“It's my pleasure,” she replied, and left. Cosima released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and brushed her hand across her brow.

“Shit,” she muttered. She waited until her head had cleared before returning to the lab. Delphine looked up the second the door opened, and was out of her seat and at Cosima's side, hands lightly touching her arms.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her brows furrowed deeply. “What happened?”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” Cosima replied, finding her hands and squeezing them quickly. “It went really well, actually.”

“What did she say?”

“She just wanted to check up on us,” Cosima replied. “See how we're settling in, ask about how our work is progressing. She's not so bad.” Delphine's fingers fell away from hers, her eyes narrowing. “She, uh, she made me a project lead.”

“What?” Delphine asked.

“You should be happy,” Cosima replied with a light frown. “This is going to help us.”

“I am happy,” Delphine said, but her voice and eyes betrayed her words.

“Whatever,” Cosima replied. “It's done now. We're just going to have to deal with it.”

 

Cosima was excelling, and Delphine didn't envy her her success; she deserved it more than anyone Delphine knew, but it threw into stark relief her own failures in finding a cure. Eight hour days turned into ten hour days. She reran tests she'd already run a dozen times, in hopes that there was something she had overlooked. Her work bled into their home life, leaving her hunched over the coffee table with her chin in her hand while Cosima cooked them dinner. The brunette's hands on her shoulders startled her out of a trance spent staring at the computer screen in front of her until the words and pictures on the screen blurred. Cosima's fingers flexed, pushing into her tense muscles.

“Hey,” she said, her breath tickling Delphine's ear. “Stop working. Go take a shower, relax. Dinner will be done when you finish.” Delphine sighed and leaned into her touch, turning her head to the side for a kiss without a second though. She stiffened, but when Cosima didn't pull away, she raised her hand and touched her fingertips to the brunette's cheek. “Go shower,” Cosima muttered against her lips, and with a final peck, removed her hands and left her side. Delphine stayed slouched against the sofa for a few seconds longer before she gently closed her laptop lid and rose with a wince and a sharp inhale.

Hot water pounding against her skin did her a world of good. Delphine leaned heavily against the wall, closing her eyes and letting the steam swirl around her, and the water burn her skin until it was red and raw. It battered the stress out of her muscles until she felt like her whole body was made of jelly. Her legs were wobbly when she finally stepped out, wrapping one of the soft, fluffy towels around her, warmed by the air in the room. Cosima entered the bedroom just as she did, and blushed when they caught sight of each other.

“Sorry,” she said, but didn't look away. “You were in there a while, I just wanted to make sure you didn't like, pass out or something. You okay?” Delphine nodded, biting her lip. “Okay, well, dinner's done, so. I'll put the TV on?”

“Yes, thank you.” Cosima smiled at her, and ducked out of the room. Delphine's shoulders slumped. She passed a hand over her eyes with a sigh, and stifled a yawn. Her pyjamas were cold against her skin, still heated from the shower. Cosima was lounging on the sofa when she emerged, her feet up on the table with Delphine's plate next to them, her own in her lap.

They ate in silence. Cosima set their plates aside and shifted until she was comfortable again before lifting her arm and raising a brow in question. Delphine considered her for a moment that felt so long she was afraid Cosima would pull away before she could respond, but she didn't, and then gratefully sank against her, pillowing her head on the brunette's chest. Cosima's fingers found her hair, tangling and stroking, until Delphine found herself unable to keep her eyes open.

An abrupt cough from Cosima woke her some time later, her head jerking up. Her heart lodged itself in her throat. She reached for the brunette, but Cosima waved her away, covering her mouth with her hand.

“I'm fine,” she said, after a moment, her voice raspy.

“Are you sure?” Delphine asked. Gently, she guided Cosima's fingers away, checking them without a thought.

“Yeah, I'm fine. See? No blood. This time.” Delphine sighed, and lightly kissed Cosima's palm. The brunette copied her.

“Have I overstepped?” Delphine asked quietly. Cosima shook her head.

“No. Of course not. You're my girlfriend, remember?”

“I thought were were pretending,” Delphine muttered. She could hear the gears in Cosima's head turning, as they always were.

“Not all of it,” the brunette whispered.

“Cosima, I-”

“Don't. Please.” Her face was pained. “I can't hear it right now.” Delphine's chest squeezed around her heart. She lowered her head back down to Cosima's chest, and trained her eyes on the television again. She tried to relax, but the tension in Cosima's body kept her from it, though a hand eventually wound its way back into her hair.

Cosima's arms were open to her that night. Delphine fell into them, surrounding herself with everything that Cosima was; her touch, her warmth, her scent. Maybe it wasn't completely pretend after all.

 

Cosima made progress far more quickly than she did. When her excited shout drifted through the open door between the lab and the office, Delphine thought she'd found something hinting at where Kira was being kept, and called to her to ask, watching Cosima through the fish tank.

“No,” Cosima shouted back. “No, it's something with my project. This is going to jump us forward a year!” Delphine frowned. Us? She bit her lip, and pushed away from her desk to peek into the office. Cosima grinned up at her, all teeth with her tongue pressed to the back and her eyes shining.

“We're supposed to be looking for Kira,” Delphine reminded her gently. Cosima's hand reached for the phone, attention already diverted.

“I know. I am, but I can't just ignore my work. I gotta tell Rachel.” Delphine's chest tightened. She curled her arms over it with a light frown, and leaned against the door frame, watching as Rachel became the reason Cosima's eyes glowed with happiness and pride. Cosima hung up after a moment, and her gaze rose to find Delphine again. “Are you okay?” Delphine nodded.

“Yes.” Cosima stood, looping around the desk to stand before her hand pry her hands away from her body. Her smile was gently, kind; full of an affection that made it hard to breathe.

“Let's go out for dinner tonight,” Cosima said. “Somewhere nice.”

“Cosima...”

“What?” the brunette asked, her grin spreading. “It's not like we can't afford it.” Delphine allowed herself to return Cosima's smile, and let the brunette's hands smooth away the tension in her shoulders. “I'll find a place and make a reservation, okay?” She sealed their deal with a quick kiss, glanced off the corner of Delphine's lips, and turned away from her. Delphine held onto her hand until she was too far, and let her arm fall limply back to her side.

She dug out a dress from the back of their closet, changing and getting ready in the bathroom while Cosima did the same in the bedroom. She stared when Delphine emerged, jaw dropped. Delphine felt her cheeks warm. Cosima grinned, then, and held out her arm.

“Shall we?”

It was a place Delphine had never heard of before, let alone been, but it seemed to be the type of venue that Aldous or Rachel would visit on a regular basis, not one that Cosima would enjoy. It reminded Delphine of old movies, with tables around a dance floor and men in suits playing softly on a stage. They were sat just off of the open area, watching a few couples spinning each other lazily across the floor.

“Didn't realize it was an event night,” Cosima muttered with a sheepish smile. “Sorry.” Delphine laughed airily, and took her hand.

“No, it is quite romantic,” she reassured, squeezing Cosima's fingers gently.

“Yeah?” the brunette asked. Her smile crinkled her eyes.

“Yeah,” Delphine replied. Cosima's eyes shown.

“Good,” she said, pulling out Delphine's seat for her before settling in her own. “You know, I think we could probably count this as our first real date.”

“Oh?” Delphine asked as she spread her napkin across her lap and reached for the wine menu.

“Yeah. I mean, obviously last time was some kind of set up, otherwise Leekie wouldn't have been there, so...” Delphine bit her lip. “Sorry. I'm over it, I swear. What do you want to eat?”

Delphine's head was pleasantly fuzzy from the wine, and it was enough that when Cosima suggested they join the few couples still dancing, she wasn't in the right mind to refuse her.

“I am rather clumsy,” she warned, letting Cosima lead her away from the table with the taste of her drink still lingering on her tongue.

“You?” Cosima asked. “Clumsy?”

“Yes,” Delphine said through a laugh. Cosima pulled her in, one hand holding hers and the other resting lightly on her hip. “With dancing.” Cosima hummed, and stepped closer until their bodies were gently brushing.

“We'll see about that.” A few seconds later she winced when Delphine stepped on her toes, and disguised it with a laugh. “Okay,” she said. “You're clumsy. But I still want to dance with you.” She spun them in a slow circle. It wasn't nearly as impressive as the casual waltzing taking place around them, but it was good enough for them. Delphine dropped her head onto the brunette's shoulder. “Are you tired?” Cosima asked after a while. “Do you want to go home?”

“Yes,” Delphine replied, but she wasn't tired. Her body was humming from being so close, but hesitance held her back.

“Okay,” Cosima said. “Let me get the check.”

On the ride home, Delphine laid her hand against Cosima's thigh, a silent question. Cosima held it in place with her own. She could feel it in the tension swirling in the air. Cosima was practically vibrating under her fingertips. Delphine didn't let go of her hand, keeping their fingers tightly woven on the trip up to the top of the building, even when Cosima had to fumble to find the right key to let them back inside. The door shut, and there was silence. Delphine leaned against it, pulling Cosima closer with a gentle tug. Her chest swelled and tightened with anticipation; or perhaps it was the wine still swimming through her blood. It didn't matter, not when Cosima was so close she could smell traces of her perfume.

Cosima initiated the kiss, with her hand on Delphine's hip and her head tilted back to reach. Delphine sighed and melted against the door, only Cosima's grip on her holding her up. Her hands found Cosima's neck and the line of her jaw and held as the kiss deepened, and then it was Cosima's tongue she could taste wine on, instead of her own. She was breathless when they parted, her heart fluttering and her stomach twisting. Cosima's eyes were dark. She pulled, and Delphine followed, through the living room and into the bedroom. Cosima sat her on the edge of the bed and kissed her again, and her breathing was shaky when she turned her head to kiss Delphine's jaw.

“Are you sure?” Delphine asked, as Cosima's hands searched for her dress zipper.

“More sure than I've been of anything in a long time,” Cosima replied, the words whispered into her ear. Delphine closed her eyes.

 

With a resigned sigh, Delphine pushed across the floor to the space she had cleared on the table opposite for her company laptop. She braced her elbow on the edge and chewed lightly on her knuckle. It was a weak hunch, but it was better than nothing, and all she needed was to pull up the related files for it. She was met with words flashing red across her screen. ACCESS DENIED. Delphine frowned, and tried again. Perhaps it was a bug in the system. She'd encountered them before. She tried again, but the same message flashed up. She tried another file. The same.

“Merde,” she muttered. “Cosima?”

“Yeah?” the brunette called from the other room.

“I can't read this file. Can you try?”

“Yeah.” The scuff of her chair being pushed back echoed into the room, Cosima following it. She bent over Delphine's shoulder, one hand braced against the back of her chair. She hummed in Delphine's ear. She was momentarily engulfed in Cosima's arms as she stretched them out to reach the computer, tapping her fingers quickly against the keys. The file blinked open.

“That's not right,” Delphine said. Cosima hesitated.

“Why?”

“You shouldn't be able to get into these; my clearance is higher than yours.” She paused, and turned in her chair to look at the brunette. “Isn't it?” Cosima glanced away. “Cosima.”

“Don't blame me,” she said, and stepped away. “It's not my fault.” Delphine frowned.

“Did you know about this?”

“I-uh,” she squeezed her eyes shut. “Rachel may have said something about it.” Delphine glared at her.

“Cosima, I need to get into these files!” Cosima held her hands up.

“Look, I'll call Rachel and see what I can do, but until then if you need to get into something just ask me and I'll see what I can do about it. Okay?” Delphine pushed away from her desk, forcing Cosima to step to the side to avoid the path of her chair. “Where are you going?”

“Home,” Delphine said sharply, replacing her lab coat for her jacket. She jerked it over her shoulders, flustered and frustrated.

“What? Why?” Cosima protested, reaching out to her. Delphine moved out of her reach and snatched her purse up.

“Because I can't be productive if I have to keep coming to you when I need something,” she said, and forced a hand through her hair. She shook her head, mumbling to herself, “I'll just go over the test results again.”

“Delphine,” Cosima tried.

“I'll see you at home,” Delphine said, and walked out before Cosima could say anything else.

On her way back to the flat, she fished her mobile out of the depths of her bag and called Sarah. The woman picked up after a few rings, saying Delphine's name with a confused tone, sounding a bit on edge.

“Hi, Sarah,” Delphine said.

“Did something happen?” Sarah asked.

“No, I-” She paused and bit her lip. “I just wanted to update you. We haven't found anything yet, and things may be... delayed.”

“Delayed? What do you mean delayed?” Delphine sighed.

“My security clearance has been downgraded, but Cosima's has been increased.”

“What does that mean, exactly?” Sarah asked. Delphine pressed the elevator call button.

“It means that I will have to go through her until it's been fixed.”

“That's bullshit,” Sarah said. Delphine could hear her frowning. The elevator dinged. “Tell Cosima to call me, later, yeah?”

“I will,” Delphine said. The line was quiet for a moment. Delphine stepped into the elevator.

“How are you holding up?” Sarah asked.

“We're fine,” Delphine replied.

“You sure?”

“Yes. It is... difficult. Being back.”

“Yeah, well, so long as you don't start playing for the other team.”

“I won't,” Delphine said firmly. The lift slowed to a stop, and the doors slid open. “You have my word.” She heard Sarah sigh.

“Okay. Good. Look, I've gotta go, but don't let Cos forget to call me when she gets back, okay?”

“I will tell her,” Delphine replied.

“Cool,” Sarah said. “Keep safe.”

“You, too.” Delphine dropped her phone from her ear with a sigh and switched it for her keys, letting herself into the silence of their flat. It should have been relaxing, but it didn't feel like home. Delphine peered around the walls and ceilings, feeling, knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that their every move was being watched. She rubbed at her eyes, and went to get a glass of wine.

 

Cosima had hoped she'd never have to visit Rachel's office. It wasn't on the top floor, but it was damn close, and as she stood in the elevator she wondered what Sarah had felt on her way up to meet their resident proclone. The hallway she stepped out into was just as bright and bare as the rest of the building. She glanced at the directions hanging on the wall across from her, and turned left, stopping outside a door labelled with Rachel's name. She inhaled carefully, shook the stress out of her shoulders and arms, and knocked.

“Come in,” Rachel called, her voice crisp and clear even through the door. She was at her desk when Cosima entered, tracing a file with her fingertip. She closed it when she glanced up. Her smile was professional, but there was a hint of shock in her eyes. “Cosima. What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to talk,” Cosima said, “if you have a minute.”

“By all means,” Rachel replied, and swept her hand towards the empty chair across from her. Cosima shut the door with a soft click and crossed the room. Rachel watched her the entire way, poised delicately in her chair with her hands folded before her. She looked every part the lioness Cosima knew she was; proud and elegant, but ready to leap at the slightest provocation. Cosima sat, and fought the urge to fidget. “What's bothering you?”

“It's, uh, it's about Delphine, and her clearance.”

“I thought we agreed it was for the best.”

“I never actually said that. Like, I mean, she needs certain files to help find a cure. Dropping her security level is only going to hurt us.” Rachel shrugged lightly.

“We found evidence that she was accessing folders unrelated to her current work,” the blonde said. “Files that concerned Kira Manning, actually.” Cosima paled. She hoped Rachel didn't notice.

“Maybe she thought it would help. We're related, so, like, she probably thought there was something she could use.” Rachel hummed.

“Nevertheless,” she said, “we can't have her sniffing about where she doesn't belong.” Her voice was curt, almost sharply so.

“Why give me access, then?” Cosima asked. Rachel considered her carefully, and tilted her head to the side.

“I trust in your judgement,” she said, then sucked in a breath as if she meant to say something else. Cosima couldn't read what flickered through her gaze. “If you would come around this side, please. I have something I would like you to see.” Hesitantly, Cosima stood, and looped around the desk. Rachel tapped on her keyboard, and brought up a series of security camera footage. Another keystroke rotated them, and another zoomed in to the image of a small girl curled up on a sofa next to an older woman, a picture book spread between them both.

“Kira?” Cosima asked, as if the child would be able to hear her through the computer screen. “You-you have her here? It was you who took her?”

“She is safe here,” Rachel said calmly, “with her caretaker. In better hands than she ever was with your Sarah.” She turned to look at Cosima, her face blank, but her eyes fierce, bordering on threatening. “I'm trusting you with this, Cosima,” she said. “Until these... problems with the Prolethians are put to an end, it is safer to keep Kira here with us. After all, it was Helena who caused her accident, was it not?” Cosima straightened abruptly.

“How do you know about that?” she asked.

“You'll find I know a great many things,” Rachel replied, and closed the footage. “I must stress your utmost discretion with this matter. I promise you it's for the best.” Cosima hesitated, watching Rachel watch her, and after a long moment, nodded slowly. “Good. Was there anything else you were concerned about?”

“No,” Cosima said. “That was it.” Rachel turned away from her, leaving Cosima staring down at her desk and the back of her head. She was left with no option but to leave, shutting the door behind her.

Delphine was still annoyed when she arrived home, but Cosima could tell it was at Rachel and DYAD, rather than herself, and for that she was grateful, but Rachel's unveiling weighed heavily on her mind. The blonde was nursing a glass of wine, leaning against the kitchen counter with the glass resting against her chin and her eyes on the pot on the stove, slowly simmering. She didn't turn her head until the door shut.

“What's wrong?” she asked. Everything, Cosima thought, rubbing at her eyes beneath her glasses.

“Nothing,” she said. “I'm just tired.” Delphine's shoulders relaxed, and she opened an arm, inviting. Cosima crossed to her and stepped into her embrace, pressing her face against the other woman's neck. She inhaled the faint, sweet scent of perfume that still clung to her skin.

“I'm sorry,” Delphine said, and kissed the top of her head.

“Yeah,” Cosima replied. “Me, too.”

 

She stayed late, much to Delphine's chagrin, but she couldn't bear to go home with the secret of Kira's whereabouts so closely kept to her chest, pressing down on her shoulders like lead. Besides, there was work to be done. Her cover would only hold if she kept it strong, and it benefited her as well, thankfully, a blessing Cosima hadn't expected to be given. The light from the computer was hurting her eyes. Cosima lightly dropped her glasses to the desk and rubbed at them with her knuckles, stifling a yawn with her palm. A rapping at the door startled her; sharp, quick and light. Cosima jumped at the sound. Her voice was too breathy when she called out for them to enter. She placed her glasses back on her nose and blinked as her vision focused.

“Uh, hi. What are you doing here?”

“I saw the light on,” Rachel said as she stepped inside. “Thought I would come and investigate.” She sauntered slowly about the room, pausing by the table. “Any more breakthroughs, Dr. Niehaus?” Cosima scoffed lightly, amused.

“I'm not a doctor.”

“Yet,” Rachel replied casually, ignoring the confused look that passed over Cosima's face. “How is our dear doctor, by the way?” Cosima shrugged.

“Still angry. Home life isn't exactly, well, 'homey' at the moment.”

“Is that so? I'm sorry to have placed you under such duress.” Her hips swayed as she made her way to the desk, trailing her fingers along its edge. “I have a proposition for you, Cosima,” Rachel continued. “A way to assist you with your research. Your last report said you've been struggling.” Cosima watched carefully as Rachel slowly began to stride around the desk.

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “What did you have in mind?” Rachel's fingers paused on the edge of her desk, then continued as she rounded the corner, drawing closer and closer to Cosima's chair.

“Me,” Rachel answered simply. Cosima choked on her breath.

“What?” Rachel was behind her. Cosima could feel the pressure of her fingertips pushing into the back of her seat. Her breath was warm against Cosima's ear.

“She wouldn't have to know,” she purred. “Besides, it's more like touching yourself than anything else.”  
“I, uh,” Cosima stammered. Rachel braced her weight on the back of her chair, spinning it easily and turning Cosima to face her. She plucked the pen out of her hand and tossed it aside. She leaned in, one hand gripping the back of the seat and the other squeezing around one of its arms.

“For science, of course,” she said in a low voice.

“Right,” Cosima muttered, sceptical and wary, but she couldn't help the trembling of her voice and her body. “Science.”

“Aren't you interested in your own biology? You have the perfect research subject right at your fingertips.” Cosima's jaw dropped.

“It's uh, it's a bit more complex than that,” she managed, her words tight in her throat. Rachel's hum blended seamlessly into her response.

“It doesn't have to be; not tonight.” Cosima leaned back as far as she could. Rachel was too close, the scent of her perfume heady and thick and almost overpowering. She cleared her throat, and looked away.

“What's the catch?” she asked.

“No catch,” Rachel replied. “Just an offer. A chance to broaden your knowledge.”

“I... can't,” Cosima said. Rachel tilted her head, the smallest of smiles twitching at her lips, and straightened up.

“Well, then. At least allow me to treat you to dinner. You've been working hard. You deserve a break.” Cosima frowned up at her. She should refuse, but it wasn't like anything better awaited her at home, not with Delphine's almost constant state of frustration.

“Okay,” she said, and Rachel stepped back to allow her to stand.

Rachel spared no expense. She dined with the ease of one accustomed to fine living, sipping at expensive wine as she gazed at Cosima over the lip of her glass. The prices on the menu made Cosima nearly spit her own onto the table, barely managing to swallow in time to prevent it. Her antics earned a chuckle from Rachel.

“Please,” she said, her menu already folded neatly at her elbow. “It's hardly a dent in my accounts.” The wine helped, and Rachel's firm professionalism even more. There was no sign of the sultry beast that had cornered Cosima before, simply the cold, hard façade that Cosima wasn't entirely sure was actually hiding anything. Rachel carefully placed her glass on the table. “So, how do you find DYAD now, Cosima? You've been with us long enough to have formed an opinion, yes?” Cosima hesitated.

“It's impressive,” she said, and it was the truth. Rachel tilted her head.

“Indeed,” she replied. Cosima thanked the waiter who brought them their food and stared down at her plate. It was a small portion for a pretty penny. “It's worth what it costs,” Rachel said, as if reading her mind. “Trust me. You'll be full after dessert.” Cosima laughed softly.

“I'm curious,” she started. Rachel hummed questioningly, delicately sliding her fork between her teeth. “Do you do anything for fun, or are you a tried and true workaholic?”

“I'm sorry?” Rachel asked, looking confused.

“You know. Fun. With friends. Hobbies. Stuff like that.” Rachel's head cocked.

“I.. read,” she said carefully.

“Yeah?” Cosima pressed. “What kind of stuff?”

“Anything, really. I can appreciate good food as well.”

“You know,” Cosima said, “there's this great diner that Delphine and I found. You and I should go, and I can teach to to appreciate the diner things in life.” Rachel's reaction was delayed, but then a laugh spilled from her lips, and its genuine sound caught Cosima off guard. She smiled, pressing her tongue against her teeth.

“That was very good,” she said, sipping at her wine. “Clever.”

“I try,” Cosima replied, and Rachel chuckled again.

The drink had made her mind hazy, and her stomach was just as full as Rachel had promised it would be. Cosima set her fork on her empty plate and finished her glass, then leaned back in her chair with a content sigh. Rachel watched her, as always, until she settled, then tipped back her head and let the last of her wine drain from the glass.

“So,” she said, her fingers playing at the stem. “Have you given any more thought to my offer?” Maybe it was the wine, or the heavy dessert resting in her stomach, or maybe it was the look in Rachel's eyes, and the way her tongue darted out to lick at her lips.

“Okay,” Cosima said. “Sure.”

 

Rachel's flat was how she imagined it. All of life's modern luxuries had found a home, yet they felt like they were hardly, if ever, used. Rachel locked the door behind her and with a look, sauntered towards the back. Cosima followed. When Rachel's lips found hers, she didn't resist. They tasted like wine and chocolate. Familiar hands pushed at her clothes, and a voice whispered in her ear, muttering words in French that Cosima only vaguely recognized. She closed her eyes, and for a moment, just a moment, the guilt buried in her chest faded.

Any traces of it were gone by the time Rachel slid back up her body, smirking and stretching like a cat. Cosima flipped her over with a jerk of her hips and a push of her hand, delighting in the brief look of surprise that flashed across Rachel's face. Her fingers trailed down the blonde's stomach. Rachel's hand tugged at her hair.

“For science,” she said, and dipped her hand.


	2. The Truth

Delphine was half asleep when Cosima finally returned, lounged on the sofa with a half finished glass of wine on the table. The sound of the door opening startled her awake with a sharp, surprised inhale, immediately turning her head. Cosima smiled weakly, and quietly closed the door behind her.

“Hey,” she said, and lifted the bag in her hand, locking the door with the other. “I come bearing gifts.”

“Oh?” Delphine asked, straightening up. Cosima dropped her bag to the ground and wiggled out of her coat.

“Yeah,” she said, sitting next to Delphine with a soft sigh. “Eskimo pies.” Delphine's heart clenched. She watched Cosima tear at the box with blunt nails, frowning lightly. Delphine raised a hand, stroking the backs of her knuckles over the brunette's cheek.

“I love you,” she said, the words out before she could stop them. Cosima froze, suddenly looking like she was going to be sick. Slowly, she turned her head to meet Delphine's gaze.

“I-”

“Oh, god, Cosima. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-”

“No,” Cosima said. “No, no. I just. I'm sorry.” She pressed the box into Delphine's hands. “I need the bathroom,” she said, and gestured at her chest, before snapping her jaw shut and abruptly standing. The shutting of the door behind her echoed loudly. Delphine listened for the sound of coughing, hoping that Cosima's excuse had been true, but none came. She pressed her hand to her sternum and sucked in a tight breath. The box of ice cream froze her fingertips.

The more time Cosima spent at work, the more Delphine regretting having allowed herself to admit anything. If she'd been able to take it back she would have, and saved the words for a more opportune time, if ever a time deigned to show itself. Perhaps it would be better if she never said anything at all. If only she could take the words back.

Delphine understood Cosima's need to be away from her, and maybe she had caught onto a thread that would lead them to Kira and was determined to follow it, but being at DYAD meant being around Rachel, and Delphine couldn't help the uneasiness that grew in her stomach at the thought of it. She distrusted the woman. Even if she hadn't been working for DYAD, Delphine wouldn't have liked her. There was something about her, the way she looked at them both, the way she smiled as if she was privy to secrets about them, that set Delphine's teeth on edge. Even worse was Cosima's eagerness to befriend her. Surely she could see that that woman was nothing but ill news.

 

A surge of loud giggling woke her. Blearily, Delphine opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was the absence of Cosima from their bed. It wasn't unusual, but a quick glance at the clock revealed that it was much later than when Cosima was normally home. Puzzled, Delphine removed herself from the warm of the blankets and shuffled out towards the living room. The giggling continued. She stopped in her tracks. Rachel looked over the back of the sofa, Cosima's gaze following.

“Delphine, hey,” she said, grinning. “Sorry, did we wake you up?”

“Yes,” Delphine said, eyes focused on Rachel. The woman's eyes skated up her legs, and suddenly Delphine wished she had worn more to bed than shorts and a tank top. The higher Rachel's gaze travelled, the more Delphine fought to not fidget. She crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “Hello, Rachel.”

“Just thought we'd have some drinks after work,” Cosima said.

“I trust that's not a problem, Dr. Cormier?” Rachel asked, with a light smirk playing on her lips. Delphine narrowed her eyes.

“No,” she said, her jaw tight. “Of course not. Cosima, I will see you when you come to bed.”

“Yeah, babe.” She could feel Rachel's eyes on her as she walked away, and heard their laughter resume. She listened to the soft mutter of their voices, catching a word here and there, then heard the door shut. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest. Cosima was still smiling when she opened the bedroom door, her face flushed from the wine. Delphine glared at her.

“Why was she here?” she asked. The smile dropped from Cosima's face. “Why would you invite her into our house?” Cosima scowled.

“I didn't invite her, she just showed up,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “She's our boss, Delphine, what was I supposed to do? Send her away?”

“Yes!” Delphine shouted. “Yes, you should have sent her away!”

“She doesn't have any friends, Delphine, the least I could do is have a drink with her!”

“Oh, so this is about being her friend now, not about working under her.” Something in Cosima's face changed, and her jaw twitched in annoyance.

“At least I'm doing something. What exactly have _you_ accomplished, _Dr. Cormier_?” Cosima spat.

“If it wasn't for your friend lowering my security clearance, I would be doing a lot more!” Delphine argued back.

“Well, maybe if you hadn't been snooping around in places you weren't supposed to be your clearance wouldn't have been dropped!” Delphine gaped, sucking in a deep breath.

“Snooping? I was _snooping_? Cosima, have you forgotten the reason why we are here? We are not here to further whatever purposes DYAD has, we are here to find a cure for you, and to find Kira, not befriend the enemy.” Cosima scoffed at her.

“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe Rachel isn't the enemy?” Delphine rolled her eyes.

“ _Listen_ to yourself! Do you even hear what you are saying?”

“Do you?” Cosima countered. “Fuck this, I'm too tired.” The door slammed shut behind her. Delphine threw her pillow at it. She didn't sleep again.

Cosima was awake when she cautiously emerged from their bedroom, a night of stewing and crying having made her ache to have the brunette's arms around her. Cosima was at her desk, looking like she hadn't slept either. She glanced up when she heard the door, but her gaze didn't linger. Delphine bit her lip, and slowly made her way over until she could reach out and touch Cosima's shoulder lightly.

“I'm sorry,” she said. Cosima tensed under her touch.

“Whatever,” she said, and rolled her shoulder away. “I'm working.” Delphine let her hand drop her side, her chest stinging. She lingered a moment, then moved off to make herself coffee.

She tried again that night, when Cosima joined her in bed, and had set her glasses down and slipped beneath the blankets. The light clicked off. Delphine waited, listening to Cosima's breathing. Her body tensed when it hitched, expecting a coughing fit, another reminder of her constant failings at finding a remedy, but it passed, and Cosima settled again.

“I can hear you thinking,” she said, without bothering to turn and look. “What is it?”

“I'm sorry,” Delphine said. Cosima sighed.

“It's fine,” she said, gently, and rolled onto her back. Delphine cuddled into her side, pressing her ear firmly to Cosima's chest to listen to the steady beat of her heart. Cosima shifted until they were tightly cuddled, and stroked her fingers through Delphine's hair. “Let's just forget about it, and go to sleep, okay?” Delphine nodded, and let her eyes close.

 

There were clever fingers working between her legs, making her writhe and arch and moan. Delphine cried out and reached down to tug on her lover's hair, pushing her chest up into the lips and teeth that danced at her breast. A hum met her ears, and she felt a smirk against her skin.

“Look at me,” a voice purred. “Delphine, look at me.” Delphine moaned, her hips jerking. The order repeated. Delphine forced her eyes open, but it wasn't Cosima's face that greeted her in the dark of the room. It was Rachel's. She screamed.

“Delphine, hey,” Cosima's voice sounded over the loud rushing of her breath and blood in her ears. “Hey, what's wrong?” Delphine opened her mouth to reply, but couldn't do anything other than let out a choked sob. Cosima pulled her close. “Hey, it's okay. You're okay. I'm here.” Delphine clutched at her, using her hands to guide her to Cosima's lips and pulling the brunette in for a kiss so hard she knew her lips would bruise from it. Cosima responded eagerly, tugging at her clothes. Delphine clung to her, hoping that her touches would erase the traces of her nightmare from her mind.

The next day, Delphine left for home early, with another failure added to the tally board, far outweighing her successes, but for once, she didn't mind. She glanced at the desk in the office, but Cosima wasn't at it. Delphine sighed and tugged her hair out from where it had caught in her jacket. She made dinner for the both of them, poured two glasses of wine, and waited. She finished her wine, and had another, and still waited, glancing at the door. Perhaps Cosima had a meeting that ran late. The clock on the microwave turned to eight. Delphine sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, and reluctantly heated up her plate, the food long gone cold, and sat at the island to eat. The muffled tone of her phone ringing from her bag stirred her into movement not long after she'd finished.

“Hello, Sarah,” she greeted.

“Hey, Delphine, how's it going?” Sarah asked. She sounded tired. Delphine sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

“Not well. There has been no progress, with a cure or with Kira. I am sorry. I wish I had good news to give you.”

“Cure?” Sarah asked. “What cure?” Delphine frowned.

“What-Cosima didn't tell you?”

“Didn't tell me what, Delphine.”

“She is sick. Like the German.”

“Holy shit,” Sarah breathed. “And she told you.” Delphine bit her lip.

“Yes,” she said, “before we left. Before you got back. I knew. I thought she had said something.”

“No, she didn't.” Sarah paused. “There's something else,” she said. Her perceptiveness caught Delphine unawares. She gazed around the empty flat. If there was anyone she could trust with her reservations, it was Sarah.

“I... told Cosima that I love her, and she has been acting strangely ever since.” There was an abrupt exhale on the other end of the line.

“Shit,” Sarah said.

“Yes,” Delphine agreed. “Shit.” Sarah sighed. Delphine made her way to the sofa with her wine and sank onto it. “She's still not home.”

“You know, Delphine,” Sarah started, “I never thought I'd be saying this to you, but she loves you, yeah? Trust me on this. She did nothing but sing praise after bloody praise to me about you, no matter what I said. She's just hurting, you know?” Delphine laughed lightly, a weak thing, and felt a smile tug at her lips.

“Did you just confess to not completely hating me?”

“Yeah, don't let it go to your head,” Sarah replied. Delphine could hear the grin in her voice. “I'll call again soon. Let me know if anything changes, yeah?”

“Of course. Take care, Sarah,” Delphine replied. Sarah echoed her and the call ended. Delphine tossed her phone onto the table and leaned back, feeling better for their short conversation. Things would be fine, she thought, finishing off her wine. She had nothing to worry about.

 

Cosima always seemed to be staying late. She couldn't have said for sure when it started, but it happened more and more often as the weeks passed. There was always tests to be run, papers to be signed, project reviews to look over. Always something. Rachel didn't mind. She waited until she was sure Delphine had left before making her move. She didn't knock on the office door, not that Cosima would have heard it if she had, as consumed in her work as she was. The brunette glanced up at her computer monitor once to check something, and when she looked up again a few seconds later, Rachel was standing before her, with her arms braced against the edge of the desk. Cosima sat up abruptly, startled.

“Shit,” she said.

“Good evening, Cosima,” Rachel said, smirking.

“What's up?” Cosima managed, watching for the second time as Rachel stalked around her desk and casually spun her chair around.

“Nothing much,” Rachel replied. “How is that research coming along, hm? Need to run another test?” She leaned forward before Cosima could react, kissing her hard. Cosima shrank into her chair, and when Rachel followed, she bit, and shoved Rachel away. The blonde stepped back to keep her balance, and laughed, licking blood off of her lip. “I have to say, Miss Niehaus, I quite enjoy this side of you.” Cosima glared at her. She could see the gears in the brunette's mind turning, grinding against whatever it was that was holding them back. Delphine, most likely, Rachel mused, smirking. She waited, counting down from ten in her head the seconds it would take Cosima to respond. She barely made it to seven.

They made a right mess of the desk. Rachel pulled her skirt back down over her thighs, smoothed her blouse, fixed her hair.

“Well,” she announced, clearing her throat, “we simply must do this again. That was divine. Ta-ta, darling.” She reached for Cosima's chin, tilting the brunette's head for a kiss, but Cosima pulled out of her grasp, frowning at her.

“Don't,” she said firmly. Rachel shrugged her shoulders, and stalked off. It made no difference to her if they parted with a kiss; she had already gotten what she wanted.

 

Cosima swore when she knocked over her pen holder again. Instead of righting it, she planted both her hands firmly on top of the desk and leaned her weight on them. She squeezed her eyes shut, jaw clenched, and pulled in a deep breath through her teeth. The room smelled like sex. Cosima left the pens scattered and yanked her jacket up from where it had fallen off her chair, removing herself as swiftly as she could.

She half expected Delphine to be asleep when she finally arrived home, but the blonde was curled up on the corner of the couch, holding her head up with her hand and watching TV. She looked over when the door shut.

“Oh,” she said, and smiled lightly. “You're home.” Cosima hung her coat and dropped her bag. Delphine stood, and crossed half the distance between them before stopping abruptly. She hesitated, then held up her arms, inviting. Cosima stepped into her embrace and buried her face in the blonde's neck, sliding her arms tightly around her waist. “I'm sorry for how things have been lately,” Delphine continued. “Between the two of us, your word is the more trustworthy.” Cosima hummed. “I spoke to Sarah earlier. She seems okay, but she sounded very tired.” Cosima burrowed closer, Delphine's words like knives in her chest. “I made dinner. Your plate is in the microwave.”

“I'm just going to have a shower first,” Cosima mumbled, pulling away with a final squeeze. Delphine let her go without a fuss. The water washed away the remainders of Rachel's touch. At least the other woman had had the decency to not leave marks, at least none that Cosima could see. It felt like there was a vice around her lungs. She'd been trying to avoid hot showers, the temperature doing nothing to help her avoid coughing fits, but now she turned it up until it scalded her skin, and squeezed tears out of her eyes.

She couldn't sleep, even cuddled up to Delphine's chest, listening to the steady beat of the blonde's heart beneath her ear. She scooted closer, tangling their legs, and sighed softly, determined. Delphine shifted against her, squeezing gently with a hum. Cosima kissed her sternum.

“I can't sleep,” she said, and pressed her lips to Delphine's warm skin again, higher. Delphine moaned softly when Cosima's kisses reached her neck. She whispered into Delphine's skin, “I need to tell you.” Delphine rose to meet her, her body arching up. She hadn't heard. So, Cosima showed her instead, rousing Delphine from her near sleep and with restrained kisses and touches until Delphine was clinging to her and tugging on her hair, with Cosima's name on her lips. Delphine was gentle, loving, careful, when she flipped them over and began to kiss her way down Cosima's body, resting her head against Cosima's chest as her fingers dipped and danced. When Delphine's lips found hers again, she opened her mouth to speak, forming the words, but they caught in her throat, suddenly tight.

“You do not have to say it if you're not ready,” Delphine said, stroking her cheek. “I betrayed your trust.” Cosima blinked back tears and held her tightly. Delphine's breath was hot against the crook of her neck.

 

Delphine was using the computer while she ate, and Cosima couldn't stop staring at the desk, forcing herself to take a bite of her food every few seconds. The blonde glanced up, one hand on the mouse, the other holding her fork.

“Cosima, are you okay? You look a bit pale. Have you been coughing today?”

“Fine,” Cosima replied, but it sounded more like a squeak. She cleared her throat. “No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine.” Delphine frowned lightly.

“If you're sure.” The door opened before the conversation could progress. Rachel was all smirks and swagger when she walked in. Cosima nearly had a heart attack.

“Oh, I'm sorry,” she said, one hand resting on the door handle. “I didn't mean to interrupt your lunch. Dr. Cormier?” Something dark crossed Delphine's face.

“Yes?” she asked, her voice tight.

“Would you mind terribly if I borrowed Cosima for a few moments?”

“Why are you asking me?” Delphine replied. “Cosima can decide for herself.” Rachel's smirk grew.

“I'm well aware. Miss Niehaus, if you would be so kind.” Cosima spared a glance at Delphine before standing and silently following Rachel out of the room. “You do remember that little secret I showed you, yes?” Cosima nodded. Rachel led them down the corridor to the elevators. “You've been such an asset to our corporation, and have kept your word, so I think you've deserved a visit.” Cosima bit down on her tongue to keep from saying anything. They were in the lift for several minutes, the silence thick enough to choke on. Finally, it dinged, and they both stepped out.

Rachel swiped her badge and keyed in a code on the panel next to a plain door, and Cosima found herself in a small observation room, with no one manning the cameras. There was no security on the next door. Rachel glanced at her before slowly opening it. Cosima stayed on her heels. Something about her changed when they entered the room, a miniature flat almost. Her shoulders relaxed, and when Cosima stepped around her, there was a genuine smile on her face. She didn't hold Cosima's attention for long, however.

“Kira,” Rachel said, her voice almost unrecognisable, “I have someone I would like you to meet.” Kira looked up from where she was kneeling at the coffee table colouring. Her eyes immediately found Cosima, and Cosima knew that no matter how good of an actress Alison had been, she would never have fooled that little girl into thinking she was Sarah. “This is Cosima.”

“She looks like Mummy, too,” Kira said, tilting her head.

“Yes,” Rachel replied, leaving Cosima's side to settle on the sofa behind Kira. “What are you working on, duckling?” With the attention diverted from her, Cosima was free to observe.

“Mrs. S brought me a colouring book,” Kira said, and held up her work for Rachel to see. The blonde looked at it closely, then kissed the top of the girl's head.

“That is very wonderful, Kira,” she said, stroking Kira's hair. “You're quite the artist.”

“Just like Uncle Felix,” Kira replied with a broad smile before turning back to her work. Rachel chuckled.

“Maybe not _quite_ like Uncle Felix,” she said. “Mrs. S has been to visit today, then?” Kira nodded.

“She said you still haven't found Mummy.”

“We're still looking, pet,” Rachel answered. Her eyes lifted to Cosima. “Don't be rude, Cosima. Say hello.” Cosima fought the frown that pulled at her lips and smiled instead, walking to them and crouching down next to Kira. She held out her hand.

“Hi, Kira,” she said. “Your mom's told me a lot about you.” Kira smiled and shook her hand awkwardly.

“I like your hair,” she said. Cosima laughed softly.

“Thanks, I grew it myself.”

“Do you know where Mummy is?” Kira asked. Cosima could feel Rachel's eyes on her.

“No,” she said. It was easier to lie than it should have been. “But, we're working really hard to find her, okay?”

“Okay,” Kira said, and started colouring again. Cosima shifted slightly and spared a glance at Rachel.

“Kira? Are you okay?”

“Of course I am,” Kira said. “Sometimes I miss my friends, but Mrs. S is a really good teacher, so it's okay.” She turned her head, dislodging Rachel's hand. “Miss Rachel, can you stay and watch a movie with me today?”

“Not right now, duckling, I have work to do, but how about I come back tonight and we can watch one before bedtime?”

“Does that mean I get to stay up late?” Rachel laughed.

“If you're good,” she replied. Cosima stood to give her room, stepping to the side and watching as Rachel bent to kiss the top of Kira's head. “Mrs. S should be here soon, will you be okay alone until then.” Kira nodded.

“Bye, Cosima,” she said, waving. Cosima smiled at her, but couldn't form a response. She followed Rachel out. The blonde laughed at the look on her face once they were back in the hall.

“Did you think we were running tests on her day in and day out?” she asked, walking towards the elevators.

“Well...” Rachel shook her head, clearly amused.

“I see her every day. She has everything she could ever want, Cosima; books, movies, an excellent education.”

“But not her mother.” Rachel shrugged and pushed the call button.

“It's amazing what children will believe,” she said.

“Why not just tell her she ran off again?” Cosima asked.

“I have no wish to destroy her, Cosima,” Rachel said, gesturing for her to step into the lift. “She's safe here.” Cosima frowned, and kept as much distance as she could between her and Rachel. She stopped Cosima outside the office with a hand on her elbow. “I assure you I want nothing more than what is best for Kira.” Cosima nodded slowly.

“I believe you,” she said, and the worst part was that it was the truth. Rachel nodded, and stepped back, smoothing down her blouse.

“The same discretion that applied before still stands.”

 

Rachel took her once a week, and with each visit, she could see the brunette's resolve weakening. There was no play on Rachel's part, not as far as Kira was concerned. Perhaps it was that which tipped Cosima over the edge. It mattered little, at any rate.

“You're really good with her,” Cosima commented in the lift on their way back up. “Not gonna lie, I'm a bit surprised.”

“I recall once telling Sarah that motherhood is wonderful,” Rachel replied. “She squandered it. I will not do the same.” She watched annoyance spark across Cosima's face at the mention of Sarah's name, and bit back a smile. “I would like to put you in control of everything involving Kira,” she continued when the doors opened, holding the button to keep the doors from closing. Cosima spun around to face her, surprised. “She likes you, and I think you may find it useful. It will require a lot of work, however, if you're willing.”

“Yeah,” Cosima said, nodding. “Yeah, totally. Thanks.” Rachel smiled and let the doors slide shut.

 

Her workload doubled. Maybe it had been a mistake taking Rachel's offer, but she couldn't deny herself the opportunity to research the biological offspring of a clone. The stress of it made her symptoms flare. More than once she had to hurry to the bathroom before she coughed blood up all over important documents. Each fit left her lungs feeling more and more raw, and her chest ached constantly. Delphine's curiosity and concern grew, and with it Cosima's frustration. It would raise too many questions to tell her about Kira, and she'd lied about it too many times to tell the truth now, not without them exploding at each other. Besides, it would distract the blonde even further from her work, not that she was making any progress, and if there was a cure to be found, Cosima needed it sooner rather than later. She would have to find a tactical way to approach the topic, if she ever decided to.

A late call from Rachel saved her from another round of questioning from Delphine, but not for reasons that were any better. The blonde was puzzled and annoyed when Cosima left in a rush, waiting until she was out the door and down the hall before speaking.

“Is she okay?”

“Yes,” Rachel said, “she's fine. It's just a cold, but we don't have any medicine, and she was asking for you. I wondered if you could pick some up on your way over and kill two birds with one stone.”

“Yeah,” Cosima replied. “Absolutely.”

“Good. Just knock when you arrive.” Cosima was there in twenty minutes, a small bag from the drug store in one hand, waiting until the lock on the door clicked and disengaged, and Mrs. S swung it open for her.

“Come along in, love,” she said with a smile, shutting the door behind her. Cosima left her bag on the table and poked her head into the room. Rachel's voice drifted from the back, followed by a stuffy sounding giggle. Something in Cosima's chest unclenched.

“Hey,” she called from the doorway, lifting the bag. “Got meds.” Rachel was half laying on top of the blankets, stroking Kira's hair, with a movie playing on the small TV on top of the girl's dresser. She smiled when she spotted Cosima, and swung her feet to the floor with her hand outstretched.

“May I?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Cosima replied, handing her the bag. Rachel thanked her, and with a glance at the label had the appropriate dose in the cap for Kira to take. “I tried to find stuff that doesn't taste horrible.”

“Just hold your nose and swallow, Kira,” Rachel reassured. The child complied, scrunching her face up.

“It's not that bad,” she said. Rachel smiled, setting the bottle on the night stand and settling back down. Cosima cast her eyes about for somewhere to sit, settling on dragging the chair in the corner over. “You should get in, too, Cosima,” Kira said, peering at her from around Rachel.

“There's not enough room for me, Kira,” Cosima replied, glancing at Rachel. The blonde cocked her head.

“Cosima can't stay long, duckling,” she said. “She has a lot of work to do.” Kira pouted, but didn't argue, and after a few minutes she yawned. Rachel hugged her to her side. Cosima suddenly felt intrusive. Quietly, she pushed the chair away and stood, joining Mrs. S in the main room.

“Would you like some tea before you go, love?” the woman asked. Cosima shook her head.

“No, thanks. I do have a lot of work to get done before tomorrow.” She paused at the door. “She's not faking it, is she?” Mrs. S shook her head.

“This world is a great tangled web of lies, Cosima,” she said, leaning against the wall with a mug in one hand, “but the love that Rachel has for that girl is not one of them.” Cosima nodded, with one last look at the two in bed before leaving.

 

“Why did you leave so suddenly?” Delphine asked. Hardly in the room, Cosima's annoyance flared.

“Work thing,” she said, hanging her coat.

“What work thing?”

“A work work thing,” Cosima repeated. Delphine frowned at her, arms crossed over her chest.

“I thought we weren't going to keep secrets,” she said. Cosima laughed lightly.

“We never said that, and out of the two of us, I'm pretty sure I'm the more trustworthy.”

“Is that so? You haven't spoken to Sarah in weeks, Cosima. Have you really forgotten why we are here?”

“Of course I haven't, Delphine,” Cosima said firmly, pushing past the blonde to settle at her desk. “I haven't found anything, okay? Back off.” Delphine's jaw was tight, a muscle working as she ground her teeth in an attempt to keep her mouth shut. Cosima stared at her until she sulked into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Cosima sighed, pushing her fingertips against her temples. She wouldn't understand, and neither would Sarah. Kira was better off.

 

Delphine hoped that if she kept asking, Cosima would finally crack and tell her what the super top secret project that she was always working on but never spoke of. She could tell the brunette was hiding something from her, although whether it was related to her work or not Delphine hadn't a clue, but she could see it. It was almost a physical burden that Cosima carried. Her attempts to get her lover to open up seemed to do nothing more than annoy her. Delphine switched tactics one night, slipping behind where Cosima was bent over her desk and sliding her hands across her shoulders, squeezing gently.

“Come to bed,” she whispered into Cosima's ear, kissing it gently. Cosima shrugged her off with a sigh.

“I'm working,” she said.

“You're always working,” Delphine replied, moving in again. “On what?”

“I've told you before it isn't any of your business.”

“We're in this together, Cosima,” Delphine said, pulling Cosima against the back of her chair. Cosima sighed again and put her pen down. “It is my business.” Delphine kissed the edge of her jaw.

“This isn't.” Delphine dipped her head, grazing her lips along Cosima's neck.

“Take a break then, and come to bed with me.” Cosima's jaw tensed as she bit her lip, then abruptly she swung her chair around and claimed Delphine's lips with a bruising intensity, her hands knotting tightly in Delphine's hair. They tugged harshly when she stood, knocking the chair to the side and all but shoving Delphine's against the wall at her back. Delphine grunted at the impact. Their teeth knocked, but Cosima seemed not to feel it. She turned her head, but Cosima held her firm, pressing herself completely against Delphine's body.

“Cosima,” Delphine hissed against her lips, but Cosima either didn't hear her, or didn't acknowledge. The brunette tugged on her hair again, tilting her head back so she could nip harshly at Delphine's throat. “Cosima, stop. Slow down.” She pushed at the brunette's shoulders, and twisted her body, trying to gain some ground, but Cosima was stronger than she was, and her struggle was for naught. Cosima's eyes were black when she finally pulled away, but there was something in them that struck a chord of fear in Delphine's gut. With fingers tightly latched around her wrist, Cosima pulled her around the corner into the bedroom, already ridding her of what few layers she wore, her own following.

She shoved Delphine down and climbed atop her hips, grinding down as she pinned Delphine's wrists to the mattress. Delphine's hips bucked automatically to meet her. As off guard as Cosima's behaviour had caught her, turning the tables on her attempts to seduce, her body reacted as it always had. She winced when Cosima's nails, sharp despite their shortness, dug into her skin, and hissed an inhale when teeth bit into her shoulder. There was nothing gentle about it when Cosima dipped a hand between their bodies and thrust her fingers inside, using the undulating of body to push deeper, curling and scraping. The brunette left angry red lines along her stomach, and painful marks on the swell of her breasts from her lips and teeth.

Delphine's orgasm came sooner than she expected it. She twisted her fingers into the sheets, arching and biting her lip, clenching around Cosima's fingers. No sooner had her body settled back onto the mattress than the brunette pulled away. Delphine jerked lightly at the sudden absence of her fingers, which Cosima absently wiped clean on her leg before lifting her bathrobe from its place hung on the back of the door and wrapping it around herself, leaving Delphine a quivering mess on the bed. She pushed a hand through her hair, her mind whirling about like a hurricane, leaving her unable to form any coherent thought, and it felt exactly the same way being with Aldous had. The realization made her stomach clench and churn sickeningly. She felt dirty.

The shower stung against the scrapes Cosima had left on her skin, some of which had been almost deep enough to bleed. She scrubbed roughly at her skin, as if washing herself clean of dirt and mud, until her whole body was pink and tingling, and overly sensitive to the water temperature. It wasn't until the room was so steamy she could hardly breathe that she finally stepped out. Clutching her towel to her, she moved to change, when a flash of movement caught her eye. She screeched and called Cosima's name automatically.

“What?” the brunette replied, sounding irritated. Delphine tried to speak, but her throat was tight. “What?” A few seconds later, Cosima appeared in the doorway. Delphine pointed. Cosima glanced briefly at the spider sitting in the middle of the floor, then reached for a heavy book from the case next to her and slowly moved until she was close enough, then let the tome drop. It thumped heavily to the ground on top of the bug. “Dead,” Cosima said, and turned on her heel, walking back out. Heart in her throat, and thumping painfully, Delphine pulled her towel tighter around herself and stared at the book.

 

Rachel approached Cosima at her desk with a cocky grin on her face and a vial in her hands. Gently, she placed it in front of her. Cosima stared at it, then picked it up again and examined the small label wrapped around its body.

“Before you ask,” she said, “yes, it was given willingly, with no fuss and only a small amount of discomfort.”

“Is this...” Cosima started, looking at the numbers on the label again. “Is this Kira's blood?”

“It is,” Rachel confirmed. “I thought your doctor might find it useful. Our lab technicians certainly thought it absolutely fascinating.”

“I'll give it to her now,” Cosima replied, and stood. Rachel blocked her way. “What?”

“Remember, not a word,” Rachel said. When Cosima nodded her understanding, she let her pass. “Good day, Miss Niehaus.” Cosima waited until she left before letting out the breath she'd been holding in a loud sigh, and lifting the vial up to examine it again. The tank that separated the office from the lab cast a faint blue glow over the white label. Cosima turned her head, peering through the fish and a hole in a piece of coral where she could see Delphine, bent over a microscope. The water distorted her, making her image shiver like a mirage. Cosima folded her fingers around the vial and opened the dividing door.

“I have a sample for you,” she announced. Delphine looked over her shoulder, curious.

“Oh? Who from?” Cosima shrugged.

“A willing participant,” she answered, and cross the room until she was close enough to hold out the tube. “I hope it's more useful than the ones you've been using.”

“Thank you,” Delphine said, careful not to let their fingers brush when she took the vial, tilting her head as she examined the label. “I will test this immediately.” She spun away. Cosima lingered for a second, then returned to her desk.

 

A few days with her mysterious sample brought Delphine all of the progress she had been searching for since they arrived at DYAD. When Cosima had given it to her, there'd been a suspicion about whose blood it was lingering in the back of her mind, and the way the cells reacted to each other only confirmed it. The results of her final test were enough to override her concern, if only for a moment. It was almost painful to smile after so long, but right under her eyes Cosima's infected cells were healing, and happiness bloomed in her chest. She felt like she could fly. Hardly able to contain her excitement, she practically did, bursting into the office with Cosima's name on her lips.

“I did it!” she declared. “Cosima, I have found the cure. That blood you gave me, it's the answer. Your cells are healing themselves!”

“That's great, babe,” Cosima said without so much as looking up. All of Delphine's joy drained out of her like someone had switched off a tap.

“I just saved your life,” Delphine said, her pride and heart both wounded.

“Yes,” Cosima replied, “and the lives of all the other subjects as well. Make sure you create enough to distribute in case this shows up in everyone else. I need to let Rachel know.” _Subjects._ Delphine floundered, shocked.

“Do you understand the gravity of what I've just done?” she asked weakly. Cosima glanced up at her, finally, but so quickly that she might as well have not looked at all. She didn't reply, just reached for the phone. Delphine set her jaw. “I know whose blood you gave me.” That, at least, made Cosima pause. “Kira is here, and you didn't tell me. You didn't tell Sarah. You kept it from us. Why?” Cosima sighed, and slowly got to her feet, stepping around her desk, and away from Delphine.

“Because she's better off here,” she said.

“What?”

“You heard me,” Cosima said. “She's being taken good care of. I know. I've seen her.”

“She needs her mother, Cosima!” Delphine argued.

“Her mother doesn't deserve to have her!” Cosima shouted, whirling around to face her. “What does Kira have to look forward to if she goes back? Nothing but watching her mother trade stolen blow for cash, so they don't have to spend the night sleeping on a park bench! Trust me, Delphine, this is for Kira's own good.”

“But, Sarah-” Delphine tried, but Cosima's glare cut her off.

“Sarah isn't a fit mother, and never has been, or did you forget that she left for ten months? Rachel's doing a pretty good job if you ask me. Now, unless you have something else to say, I suggest you either work on creating a batch of vaccine, or leave.” Delphine chose the later, and as she stalked out of the lab and down the hall, the nausea that gripped her stomach and the knife stabbing at her chest reminded her of how her own betrayal of Cosima must have felt.

She called Sarah from a payphone the minute she was far enough away from DYAD to feel safe doing so, praying that her call would be picked up, despite the strange number. She sighed with relief when Sarah's confused hello sounded in her ear.

“Sarah, something is wrong with Cosima. She is not acting like herself.”

“Delphine?” Sarah asked. “What do you mean 'not acting like herself'? What's wrong?”

“I don't know what has happened to her, Sarah,” Delphine said, fighting to keep her voice steady. “She has been distant, and short-tempered and-and violent, and she has been keeping things from me when we are supposed to be working together. I found a cure for her illness, but...”

“But what, Delphine,” Sarah asked.

“She gave me Kira's blood to use, Sarah,” Delphine sighed, closing her eyes and leaning against the phone box. “Kira is here. DYAD have her.” No response. “Sarah?”

“Fuck it,” Sarah said, “fuck this. I'm coming to get her. Give me an address, and Paul and I will meet you. It'll be easier to get in with your pass.”

“Sarah, I don't think-”

“I am not letting my daughter stay there a moment longer, Delphine,” Sarah said firmly. “Tell me where you are.” Delphine squeezed her eyes more tightly closed.

“I am a few blocks away from the building,” she said. “On the corner of 20th, and Sycamore. I will wait for you here.” Sarah's voice went muffled as she called something to Paul.

“We'll be there in an hour and a half,” she said. “Don't move.” Delphine hung the phone on the latch and huddled inside her coat against a gust of cool, late winter wind. It whipped her hair around her face. Biting her lip, Delphine cast her gaze around for a place to sit, settled on a nearby bench, and waited.

Cigarette butts littered the ground around her feet when a car pulled up to the curb, and the window rolled down, revealing Sarah in the passenger seat. She looked more tired than Delphine had ever seen her, but this time her face was free of cuts and bruises.

“Get in,” she called, and the window slid back up. Delphine's heart sank to the bottom of her chest and stayed there, feeling like a leaden weight more than a muscle needed to survive. Paul stepped on the gas as soon as she shut the door behind her, turned twice, and parked the car in an alley behind the building. Sarah turned around to face her. “Paul has something of his own he needs to find. You and I are going to get Kira, and Cosima, and get the hell out of here. Got it?” Delphine nodded silently. Sarah held out her hand. “Give me your pass.” Delphine glanced down to where her ID hung from her neck, and slipped the band over her head. Sarah examined her for a moment, then tugged the hood of her sweatshirt up and stepped out of the car. Paul and Delphine followed. Delphine didn't miss the guns tucked into both their jeans.

 

Paul split away from them a few minutes after they were inside, leaving Sarah and Delphine waiting for a lift to take them down to where Delphine believed they were keeping Kira. It was only a hunch, but it was better than nothing, and Sarah was more than happy to run with it. The silence between them in the lift was tense and awkward. Nothing about DYAD felt right. Sarah's skin crawled.

“I don't have clearance to be here,” Delphine said as the elevator slowed. “There will be no alarms raised, I don't think, but I do not know if my pass or codes will work on anything.”

“Yeah, well, where there's a will, there's a way,” Sarah replied, her voice dead serious. Her hand tugged at the back of her shirt before she stepped out, rearranging the gun shaped bump in her clothes. “Which way?” Delphine shrugged, looking both ways down the hall. “Shit.” Sarah bounced lightly on the balls of her feet, then sighed heavily. “Follow me.”

“Wait,” Delphine said, reaching out to grab her arm. “I have an idea. Wait.” Sarah frowned at her, and watched as she quickly walked down the hall towards the end where two men in lab coats were standing. Her voice drifted down the corridor, but it was too soft for Sarah to hear. A minute later, Delphine strode back to her, and pointed along the hall. “She's down there, around the corner, first door on the left.”

“What?” Sarah asked. Delphine passed her, prompting Sarah to follow. “How did you-?”

“I know how to get what I want from men, Sarah,” Delphine said tightly. “Surely you understand that.” Sarah snapped her jaw shut, and let Delphine walk ahead of her. Her hand twitched towards her gun. “Give me my pass.” When it was in her hand, she swiped it through the keypad outside the door. It beeped, but didn't flash green. Delphine frowned.

“Doesn't work?”

“I told you my clearance was dropped,” Delphine replied, shrugging. She bit her lip. “What should we do?” Sarah sighed and pulled her gun free. Delphine's eyes flashed to it, but she didn't say anything. Sarah turned it in her hand, and smashed the butt against the puzzle until it fizzled and cracked, and the lock loudly clicked open.

“Told you there's a way,” she said, and shouldered the door open. There was no one in the observation room. Sarah glanced at the cameras, and danced her eyes across the desk. No button, just another keypad. Sarah destroyed it, relieved when the door unlocked. “Kira?” she called when she opened it, glancing around.

“Mummy!” From her left, a girl-shaped blur of colour rushed towards her, nearly bowling her over with the force they collided.

“Hey, monkey,” Sarah breathed, wrapping her arms tightly around Kira and squeezing her eyes shut against the tears that welled in them. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” Kira pulled away enough to look at her, confused.

“Why would they hurt me?” she asked. “Aunty Rachel and Aunty Cosima are really cool. And Mrs. S visits, too. Are we going to go home now?” Sarah swallowed over the lump in her throat.

“Not yet, Kira,” she said. “We need to go find Aunty Cos, okay? I need you to be a very good girl, and listen to everything me and Delphine tell you, yeah?” Kira nodded. Sarah straightened, holding Kira's hand in her free one. Delphine was stood in the doorway, her arms wrapped around herself. “Where's Cosima?”

“In the lab,” the blonde replied, pushing her fingers through her hair. “She's always in the lab.” She shook her head sharply, as if to clear her thoughts, and inhaled audibly. “Follow me.”

Thank Christ for elevators, Sarah thought. Her palm was sweaty from holding onto Kira's so tightly, but she wasn't going to let go unless she didn't have any choice. Her daughter was doing just as she was being told, but as perceptive as she was, she knew something was wrong, and Sarah hadn't tried to hide the gun from her. Her phone rang. She tucked her gun under her arm and fished it from her pocket?

“Yeah?”

“I got what I needed,” Paul said, “where are you?” Sarah glanced up at the elevator buttons.

“Going to the 20th.”

“Did you find Kira?” he asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, we did.”

“I'm going to come meet you,” Paul said. “I'm getting some looks, and I wanna be with you guys if something happens.”

“Yeah. It's lab seventeen.”

“Okay.” Sarah ended the call and pushed her phone away, gripping her gun again.

“I'm going to wipe the computers,” Delphine announced. Sarah looked at her. Her face was set, mouth a firm line and jaw tight. “I have to do something to help. I can erase months of work. It will take DYAD ages to recover, especially without Cosima here.” Sarah nodded.

“Okay,” she said as the lift dinged. “Kira, stay with Delphine, okay?” She handed the child over, waiting until Delphine was holding onto her hand as tightly as Sarah had been before taking point. The office was empty. While Delphine made a beeline straight for the computer, Sarah glanced around. Nothing felt right. The hair on the back of her neck stood on edge, and her gut screamed at her that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

She tightened her grip on her gun, leaving Delphine and Kira behind for the door of the lab, passing beneath the tank when she opened it. The aquarium cast an eerie blue glow over most of the room, dim save for a bright light at a table in the middle, where Cosima was hunched over something. She straightened when the door shut.

“Delphine?” she asked, and turned in her chair. Alarm settled in her eyes. “Sarah? What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Sarah said tightly. Her chin trembled. She clenched her teeth to stop it. “Delphine told me everything. About you being sick, about-about _Kira_. She said you've been acting all screwy, Cos.” Cosima's surprise faded. She stood, slowly, her eyes cool. Sarah tracked her to the wall. Her fingers twitched around the grip of her gun.

“I'm fine, Sarah,” Cosima said, but something about her was off; the look in her eyes, the smirk hovering on her lips, the sound of her voice. “You shouldn't be here.”

“I came here to get my daughter back,” Sarah said. “Why did you lie?”

“To keep her safe!” Cosima shouted. “She's safer here than she _ever_ was with you, Sarah, _why can't you see that?_ Why can't _either_ of you see that!?”

“She's my _daughter_ , Cosima!” Sarah shouted back. “I thought we were in this together. Whose bloody side are you on?” Cosima's face darkened.

“Whose side are you?” she asked. She raised her hand, placing it against the fire alarm on the wall. “I can't let you take Kira.”

“Cos, please,” Sarah begged. “Think about what you're doing!” Cosima shook her head.

“I won't let you put that little girl in danger,” she said. Her fingers twitched. Alarm meant security, and security was bad for all of them. She reacted automatically, raising her gun before she fully realized what she was doing and pulling the trigger just before Cosima's fingertips latched around the alarm handle. The brunette staggered back a few steps, clutching at her chest with one hand. Her eyes found Sarah's. Blood stained the front of her lab coat, the light from the aquarium making it look dark purple; almost black. She tried to speak, but liquid bubbled at her mouth. She toppled, almost in slow motion, hitting the ground with a sickening thud. Sarah watched as she wheezed once, before her chest fell and her eyes glazed over, staring at nothing.

The noise had drawn attention. A second later, Delphine's horrified shout met Sarah's ears. Their shoulders bumped roughly as the blonde rushed past, sobbing Cosima's name and lifting the brunette's head into her lap. Paul followed, holding his gun at the ready. He hesitated, processing the scene before him, then lowered his weapon and tucked it into his coat pocket, closing the distance between him and Delphine in a few long strides. He pulled her to her feet, kicking and wailing like a wild animal, and dragged her towards the door. Numb, Sarah followed, sweeping a confused Kira up into her arms and bolting.

“Don't look, monkey,” she said. “Don't look.” Kira hid her face against Sarah's neck and clung tightly to her shoulders. Paul led them out a back way, and bundled a crying Delphine into the back of the car, climbing in after her. Sarah strapped Kira into the front seat, grabbing the keys that Paul dangled in front of her face. Five minutes later and they were a safe distance away. Sarah chanced a glance in the rear view mirror. Delphine had her face buried against Paul's chest, her body shaking, but her sobs silent. Sarah bit her lip.

“Delphine,” Paul said before she could, “where do you live? We need to get your stuff.” Delphine mumbled something into his shirt. “Turn right,” Paul said. “Five minutes down, big apartment building on this side of the street.”

“Mummy, what's going on?” Kira asked.

“I'll explain it later, Kira,” Sarah said. “Keep quiet for now. You're being very brave. I'm very proud of you.” She glanced at the mirror again. Delphine's face was splotchy and her eyes red, but aside from the occasional sniff, her cries had stopped. She stared blankly out the car window. Sarah looked away, her chest clenching like a vice around her heart.

 

Delphine didn't let Sarah follow. The brunette tried, but Delphine shook her head without really listening and shut the door to the flat behind her. The quiet of the room should have been peaceful, but all it did was magnify the dull ache in Delphine's chest. Slowly, she looked around. Cosima's mug was still on the kitchen counter, her coat hung by the door. Her desk by the window was messy as always, scattered with files and folders that she hadn't allowed Delphine to see. It looked for all the world like Cosima would be home at any minute. She took two steps into the room then stopped, unable to will herself to move any further.

It could have been five minutes, or ten; or an hour, or two, or three. It could have been a day for all she knew. Distantly, she registered the sound of the door opening behind her, and Sarah gently calling her name. She turned her head to look over her shoulder, watching as the brunette with her painfully familiar face crossed over to her, and gently touched her arm.

“We can't stay,” she said. Delphine slowly pulled air into her lungs, and nodded.

“I'll be there in a few minutes,” she replied, hardly recognizing her own voice. Sarah hesitated, then stepped back. Delphine left her standing in the living room, half shutting the bedroom door behind her. It smelled like them both; the tangling of their separate perfumes, the washing detergent, the faint trace of Cosima's weed. Delphine pulled her bag out of the closet and threw everything of hers she could fit into it, pushing them down with her laptop. Cosima's clothes were still strewn across the floor. Delphine bit her lip, and glanced over her shoulder, almost afraid that Sarah had followed, but she was alone.

Slowly, she went through Cosima's things, claiming the brunette's favourite sweaters, and shirts that smelled like nothing but her. Her hand danced over the brunette's jewellery box, and tipped it open. A small box was hidden beneath the top shelf. Puzzled, Delphine picked it up, and peeked inside. Her breath caught, and tears pricked at her eyes again. She snapped the box shut, clenching it tightly in her fist and controlling her breathing until she didn't struggle so much to do so, and dropped the box into her bag before zipping it up and tugging it out of the room with her.

“Ready?” Sarah asked. “You sure you have everything? We can't come back.” Delphine nodded, and wiped at her eyes as the clamp around her heart and lungs tightened inch by inch. “Come on.” She reached out, carefully taking Delphine's wrist. She let herself be led to the door, dropping her key on the kitchen counter and locking the door behind her before shutting it with a quiet thump.


	3. Epilogue: The Future

Delphine stared out at the stillness of the early morning, leaning against the cool glass of the door with one hand tangled in her hair, longer now, and the other turning the ring around her neck between her fingers. Initially, she'd thought the quiet of the countryside wouldn't be enough, but the peace that it brought did far more for her than the noise of Paris did. With a sigh, she twisted her wrist around to check her watch, and turned from the door. Sarah and Kira would be arriving soon, and she had yet to set out breakfast and Kira's playthings.

From the hall closet, Delphine withdrew colouring books and markers and pens and paper and paints, and arranged her armful neatly on the coffee table. She hoped it would be enough to keep the girl occupied while her and Sarah spoke properly. It had been too long since she'd seen either of them through anything more than Skype, the possibility of meeting up too risky. But things had calmed, and for the first time in a year, the promised summer visits could start.

Breakfast was half finished when the doorbell rang. Delphine stilled, a wave of nervousness hitting her in the chest. She inhaled deeply, and shook her head, silently scolding herself for being foolish. It was only Sarah. Delphine dried her hands on the oven towel, and fiddled with her ring again before remembering Sarah didn't know, and tucking it under her shirt before opening the door.

Seeing her face magnified the constant, dull ache that was set deep in Delphine's chest. She had always been able to pinpoint the differences, but it was so much harder in person than it had ever been with a computer and miles and miles between them. It was hard to breathe. Sarah smiled awkwardly, a suitcase in one hand and Kira's hand in the other. Her eyes were more tired than Delphine remembered them.

“You gonna let us in?” Sarah asked. Delphine blinked.

“Oh, yes, of course,” she said, stepping to the side.

“Hi Aunty Delphine!” Kira said happily, stopping to hug Delphine's waist. Delphine bit her lip, but smiled despite it, and stroked a hand over Kira's hair.

“Hello, sweetling,” Delphine said gently. “Are you hungry?”

“We both are,” Sarah replied, dragging the suitcases over the threshold. “Isn't that right, monkey?” Delphine pointed into the house.

“The kitchen is through there, Kira. Breakfast is almost done.” Kira let go of her and rounded the corner. Delphine sighed and shut the door. When she turned around, Sarah was looking at her cautiously, her head tilted to the side. “How was the trip?” Delphine asked.

“Would have been easier if my French wasn't so shite,” Sarah replied with a light laugh. Delphine smiled. Sarah nudged her and Kira's luggage with her foot. “Where do you want me to put these?”

“Just leave them,” Delphine replied, waving her hand. “Come, eat. When is Paul coming?”

“Not until next month.” Sarah followed her. Delphine paused when she passed the small table to kiss the top of Kira's head, and then lifted the pan off of the stove burner. “Bacon, eggs, and toast,” she said, serving Sarah and Kira before making herself a plate and settling in her usual seat near the wall. Kira's happy chatter filled what would have otherwise been a silent meal, poking at her eggs with her fork as she told Delphine all about her new school, and the new friends she was making, and how she really liked her English teacher.

“Says she's going to be one of the greatest authors of her generation,” Sarah cut in, just loud enough for Delphine to hear. Delphine chuckled. “Put your plate in the sink, Kira.”

“I put out books for you in the living room, sweetling,” Delphine said.

“Are you guys coming, too?” Kira asked, standing on her toes to set her plate down.

“We will,” Sarah said, “we just need to have a quick chat first, yeah?”

“Okay,” Kira said, and left the two of them alone. Delphine pushed what was left of her food across her plate, teeth digging into her lip.

“Coffee?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Sarah replied. Delphine caught a light nod out of the corner of her eye. “Please.” Delphine took their plates, and started up the coffee maker to run while she washed up. Sarah didn't say anything else until they were sat together again, both with drinks held between their hands. “How are you holding up?” Sarah's voice was gentle. Delphine's inhale was shaky.

“It feels like... a part of me is-is missing,” she said, gesturing uselessly at her chest, “and I know that I will never get it back, but I will survive. I will carry on. It's what she-” She stopped, and had to wait for the knot in her throat to loosen before she could speak again. “It's what she would have wanted.” Sarah nodded slowly, and raised her mug to her lips.

“This is good,” she said. Delphine was grateful that she didn't push. Even the slight mention had stabbed at her chest.

“Thank you,” she replied softly, but didn't move to drink.

 

Having Kira around made her world brighter. The child was a ball of sunshine, all smiles and laughs, and eager to help Delphine around the house. Delphine imagined that Sarah had said something to her, but she didn't question it, and took to teaching Kira words and phrases in French for her to baffle her mother with. It made Delphine laugh whenever Sarah's brows furrowed up in confusion at something Kira said, even moreso when Kira took to speaking French when she didn't want Sarah to hear.

“Oi!” Sarah snapped playfully, “that's enough of that, then!” She reached out to tickle Kira, but the child ducked away from her grasp. Delphine pulled her feet onto the sofa as they rushed around the living room until Sarah's used the advantage of her longer legs to sweep her daughter up into her arms and push her down on the couch, tickling her. Their movement bounced Delphine. She laughed along with them.

“I'm sorry, Sarah,” she said through her giggles. “I swear I have no idea where she picked that up.”

“Oh, I'm sure,” Sarah said over Kira's laughter. “Okay, monkey,” she continued, turning around. Kira hopping onto her back. “Bed time. Say goodnight to Delphine.”

“Goodnight, Aunty Delphine.”

“Bonne nuit, Kira,” Delphine replied. She caught a snippet of their conversation when she passed by the door to Kira's room on her way to the bathroom. She paused, lingering in the darkness of the hall, next to the sliver of warm, orange light that spilled from the opening.

“Mummy,” she heard Kira say, “Aunty Delphine is still sad because Aunty Cosima is gone.” It felt like ages before Sarah replied.

“We're all sad that Aunty Cosima is gone,” she said, her voice thick and low. “Aunty Delphine loved her very, very much, so we just have to do whatever we can to make her happy, okay, monkey?” Biting her lip, Delphine left before she could hear Kira's reply, and out of habit locked the bathroom door behind her. The ache in her chest grew. Delphine dug her fingertips into the vanity and ducked her head, squeezing her eyes shut and focusing on pulling air into her lungs until it didn't hurt so much to do so. When she looked up, her eyes were watery, and she could swear that the circles under them were darker than when she'd last looked. She shook her head with a sigh and splashed water on her face. Her ring bumped gently against her sternum when she straightened.

Sarah was lingering in the hall when she left, her arms crossed over her chest. She looked so much like Cosima that Delphine's heart almost stopped.

“You look like you need a drink,” the brunette said, and pushed off the wall. Delphine followed, and sat heavily on the sofa while Sarah fetched them wine, staring at the remains of Kira's playtime strewn across her coffee table. Sarah pressed a glass into her hands and settled next to her, draining half of her drink before Delphine even had a sip. Delphine sighed again, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the couch.

“I miss her, Sarah,” she said after a long while.

“If I could change it...” Sarah replied. “Delphine, I am so, so sorry.” Delphine shook her head.

“You did what you had to do to protect Kira. I just wish... I wish things had been different.”

“Me, too,” Sarah said softly. Delphine's eyes stung. She swore softly and pressed her fingers into their corners, inhaling shakily. Sarah's hand found her shoulder, and she felt the cushions dip as the brunette shifted closer. Her glass was lifted from her hand and set gently aside, and then she was wrapped up in familiar arms and pressed against a familiar body, and her chest was so tight that she couldn't breathe again. A choked sob worked its way out. Sarah's face pressed into her hair.

“Stay with me tonight,” Delphine pleaded, hiding her face in the folds of Sarah's hoodie.

“Delphine...”

“Please. For one night, let me pretend.” Sarah stroked her hair.

“Okay,” she said. “Okay.” Delphine moved with her, letting herself be led upstairs and past Kira and Sarah's rooms into Delphine's own. Delphine clung tighter when Sarah started to pull away. “Hey, it's okay. I'm just turning on the light.” Delphine reluctantly let go, trying to keep her sobs quiet for fear of waking Kira. The light clicked on. Delphine sat on the bed and curled into herself while Sarah shut the door before joining her. Immediately, she shoved her ear against the brunette's chest and squeezed her eyes shut. The thudding that echoed in her head was the same as when it was Cosima's breast she lay her head against.

They ended up stretched atop the covers. Sarah had been stroking her hair, but every now and then her hand paused as she started to drift off before her chest hitched and it started up again. Delphine's eyes burned, and felt raw and tired. Her body ached. Out of habit, she curled a hand between her and Sarah's body to fish her ring out from beneath her shirt and twirl it.

“Sarah?” she asked in a voice as raspy as her throat felt. The brunette hummed sleepily, and blinked her eyes open when Delphine pulled away. She gazed up at her in confusion for a few seconds before the movement of Delphine's fingers caught her eye.

“Holy shit,” she whispered, and propped herself up on her elbows. “Is that-is that what I think it is?” Delphine nodded and held back another wave of tears.

“I have to tell someone,” she said softly. “It might as well be you.” She sucked in a deep breath before continuing. “I found it in her jewellery box. I know that, in the end she wasn't... she wasn't our Cosima any more.” Even saying her name hurt. Had she said it at all since they left? “I still would have said yes, and maybe, maybe she could have been saved.” Sarah drew her back down as her face crumpled, wrapping her in a tight hug.

Delphine was woken up in the middle of the night by a small, warm body climbing onto the bed and squeezing itself between her and Sarah. She blinked her eyes open and blearily glanced down to where Kira had comfortably wedged herself, curled up face Sarah with her head against her mother's chest where Delphine's had been resting however long before. Sarah only moved to awkwardly press a kiss against the top of the child's head, then reached out for Delphine. She scooted closer until Kira was well and truly sandwiched between them, and held on tightly to Sarah's hand until she fell asleep again.

 

They were both still there in the morning. Delphine woke first, rolling away from mother and daughter to stretch out on her back and watch for a moment. Her hand reached out to touch Sarah's cheek, but she caught herself and shook her head. She was being foolish. No matter how alike they looked, Sarah was not Cosima, and she would not try to use the brunette as a replacement. She would heal on her own, however long it took, and however large a scar it left. Carefully, she removed herself from the bed and padded into the bathroom for a shower.

The scent of breakfast met her when she stepped out. She found simple clothes to wear and tied her hair back, not bothering to hide her ring. There was no point in it. Sarah greeted her with a smile, and Kira with a cheerful “good morning.”

“All right?” Sarah asked, setting her plate in front of her when she sat down.

“Yes,” Delphine replied. Sarah nodded, giving Kira her food and sitting in the chair next to her.

“Paul called earlier, said he'll be here early afternoon.” Delphine hummed with a small smile.

“Thank you,” she said softly, “for last night.”

“Don't mention it,” Sarah said, waving her off. “You'd have done the same for me.”

 

Paul squeezed the air out of her lungs when she opened the door. He smelled like sandalwood. Delphine squeezed back, her arms around his waist and her face against his shoulder until his grip loosened.

“It's good to see you,” he said softly with a smile. Delphine returned it and let him in the house.

“You, too. We're about to watch a film if you want to join.”

“Yeah, just let me put my bag away. Which room is Sarah's?”

“Upstairs,” Delphine replied, “second door on the left.” Paul hoisted his bag over his shoulder.

“Go ahead and start,” he said. “I'll be there in a bit.” Delphine nodded and shut the door as he walked off. She passed Sarah in the hall, whose lips twitched into a small smile before she lightly jogged upstairs after Paul, leaving Delphine to set up Lilo & Stitch at Kira's request, and stretch out on the sofa with Kira curled into her side. Paul and Sarah rejoined them a short while later. Sarah settled on Kira's other side while Paul slumped into the armchair and leaned his head back, eyes closed. Delphine's eyes pricked with tears again, but she held them back and squeezed Kira against her, stroking her hair gently.

Near the end, Kira snuggled further into Delphine. The blonde glanced away from the TV to look at Sarah. Family, she thought, wondering how the words of an animated character could affect her so much. Sarah smiled at her, lopsided and soft, and nodded. _You're family_ , she mouthed. Delphine's chest swelled, and for the first time in a year, the ache in her chest faded away.


End file.
